Oh, Law School Discussion…how I’ve missed thee. I know I’ve written about gunners before but can we just acknowledge this ridiculousness? The topic of the thread is: “How To Respond To People Calling You a Gunner?”
Gunner: Last semester I amply and vastly participated in class and I could decipher my classmates’ opinion of said participation. How best to respond to these (to put it generously) rather immature individuals?
The first response (by “Stole Your Nose!“) was rather good:
Last night I watched Law & Order with a housemate.
Me: “I think I’m too scared to do family law.”
Housemate: “Why’s that?”
Me: “Some angry husband will probably kill me.”
I told him that Law & Order makes me want to apply to the district attorney’s office.
The episode involved MS-13. By the end of the episode the gang members were threatening the attorneys.
Me: “Hm. Maybe I’ll get murdered at the Prosecutor’s office too…”
Employment Law here I come!*
*The conversation is real, but said in jest… please hire me…
Just had an odd exchange at the Pelli Library café.
Me: “May I have a large coffee with room for cream?”
Barista: “Sure. That’ll be $2 please.”
(I hand him my Roast Masters card)
Barista: “Does this have money on it?”
Me: “I hope so.”
Lady behind me (muttering): “Smartass.”
I turn around to find a squat woman smirking at me. I shoot a nasty glare and turn back to the (horrified) Barista, ignoring the commentator.
Barista: “Uh, here’s your card. It has $12 left on it.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Dunn Brothers’ Roast Masters card is a modern punch card. You get a free bag of beans or drink with every $40 you spend.
It’s also a gift card. I put money on it so my bank account isn’t littered with $2.09 coffee charges.
It’s slightly annoying when a Barista asks me if there’s money on the card. I’m not pulling out another card or cash…so, I hope there’s money on the Roast card because otherwise we have a problem…
Can you imagine being asked if there’s money on your debit card before it’s even swiped?
How to tell when your significant other thinks you blog too much:
Jamie: “Are you going to blog about how I made you go on an awkward double date with two of my ex’s that I’m trying to hook up?”
(two hours later)
Jamie: “You’re going to blog about this aren’t you?”
(at the end of the night)
Jamie: “DONT BLOG ABOUT THIS!”
(right now, as he’s reading this over my shoulder)
Jamie: “I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO BLOG ABOUT THIS!”
…blog about what dear?
Madre and I took a walk through Little Havana to downtown today.
We were surprised that all of the stores were packed. The line at Ross was grotesque. The line actually went all the way to the back of the store and began creeping along the walls.
That picture is from the back of the store. Yep.
It’s a Miami Christmas: there’s the constant sound of singing and gunfire from across the river. (People in Little Havana shoot into the air to celebrate.)
My mother’s cell phone rings. I think she’s at the apartment next door, so I go outside to bring it to her.
I open the door and my mother and two neighbors come running up the stairs.
Mom: “Go inside and lock the door!”
There’s yelling from downstairs.
Me: “Whut what? What’s going on? Do we need the cops?”
Neighbor: “No, not yet…”
Yet. Great. I close the door and then hear a neighbor screaming outside: “Don’t you touch my wife!”
A few minutes later I hear my mother pounding on the back door.
Mom: “Why is the door locked?!”
Me: “Uh, you told me to lock the door…”
Mom: “Oh. Right. I meant the front door.”
Me: “What is this chaos outside?”
Mom: “We were all at Geraldo’s house and Jose was acting stupid… I think it’s because he wasn’t invited or something.”
She grabs a few diet cokes and goes back out the back door.
I return to my novel, and try to ignore the drunken conversation (and occasional screaming) from outside. We’ll see if things pop off…
**** Update
Mom comes back in and says:
Mom: “I’m about to call the police on his ass! Jose told me: ‘punch me in the face, I need to feel pain.’ See a few days ago he met this girl…”
Apparently Jose is running around asking all the neighbors to punch him ‘so he can feel pain’ because this girl he went on a date with ditched him for another man… special.
This is how the conversation went.
Me: “Can I borrow your car to go to Taco Bell?”
Mom: “Sure…but you have to go to the 7th street one. It’s Christmas so US-1 is too dangerous.”
Me: “It’s not dangerous it’s like 9pm…”
Mom: “No! You are not crashing my car. I’ll drive you.”
The Taco Bell drive-thru line is ridiculous so we go inside. The tables and floor are caked in leftover wrappers and food…
Me: “The drive-thru is always crowded because all Taco Bells look disgusting inside. Even if they are new.”
Mom: “I think it’s the faded colors…”
The cashier walks past us to sweep. She stops when she sees the mess.
Cashier: “People are so fucking disgusting!”
Mom: “What was that?”
Cashier: “Oh! Nothing… sorry.”
Outside…
Me: “She said that ‘people are so f-ing disgusting.”
Mom: “Oh, I heard her. I just couldn’t believe she said it...”
So, I forgot to mention that the day of my torts final there were several girls in my class who wore t-shirts that read (something like): “Whenever you feel like you’re drowning in shit remember Mrs. Rush.”
And it made my day. It really did. A summary of Rush v. Commercial Realty Co is here.
While attempting to describe tomorrow’s civil procedure exam to Jamie:
Me: “Not being able to use notes on a civpro exam is like being forced into a blindfolded gymnastics competition and the being compared to all the other gimpy, blindfolded contestants.”
**** two hours later….
Jamie (coming into dining room): “I hear too much music out here. I don’t think you’re studying.”
Me: “Yeah huh! I’m reviewing dispositions…dysput…desspu… damn it I can’t say it… DESPOSITIONS! RULE 27!”
Jamie: “You’re fried.”
Whenever I get sick of outlining, my torts book shoots me a jewel like this:
“On the other hand there are other kinds of medical malpractice, as where a sponge is left in the plaintiff’s abdomen after an operation, where no expert is needed to tell the jury that such events do not usually occur in the absence negligence.”
Muhaha. I love it…
Anyhoot, almost done!
What happens when you have the review session the day of another exam:
Professor L: “I’m surprised this many of you stumbled over here for this.”
…there was also someone sleeping in the corner. Eek.
Exam advice:
Professor L: “Don’t make up facts. I don’t want to you to say there’s a man with a gun outside of the school because it happened in Lopez.”
Why we love Professor L:
Professor L: “Well in the marijuana case, the question is: does the commerce clause apply even if they are growing it at home in a little pot? No pun intended of course…”
And the final threat:
Professor L: “I’ll be around in the morning, and I’m going to answer any emails…otherwise good luck! You’ll need it…”
Law students during finals are as tense as a pack of ferrets in the back of a pickup truck.
A recent email from our head librarian is an example of why I avoid the law library:
“As we approach finals, the need for a quiet study environment increases. To help, the library designates an area on the first floor as “quiet study.” This is the area along the “zig-zag” between the entrance of the first floor reading room and computer lab 153. (See attached map) Signs are posted in those areas.
One year we received a complaint about a student who was wearing flip-flops and walking to and from his carrel a bit too frequently for his neighbors. While this example may seem extreme, it highlights the general tension level that finals inspire. You will be doing yourself and your colleagues a favor if you do your part to maintain a quiet study environment.
Here are some things you can do, to help ensure that you and your neighbor are able to concentrate. Each of these suggestions, believe it or not, is based on a real complaint.
As always, our goal is to provide the best environment possible for students to effectively complete or prepare for exams. Your help is greatly appreciated as are your suggestions. If you have any thoughts on how we can improve the library, be sure to let us know. Email lawlib@umn.edu to share your thoughts or ideas.
Good luck on your exams! (And watch for occasional treats in the Law Library lobby Dec 8-19)
– Heart, your head librarian.”
To designate a ‘quiet area’ of the library is ridiculous, especially since our library has the acoustics of an opera house – you can hear a roach’s thoughts from the other side of the library…well, maybe that’s the caffeine speaking…
The main point of a library is that it’s a quiet study area. People don’t just show up for the power outlets or the sometimes-wireless. Sure, there are books and uh, things in there too, but most law students don’t use the library for research unless Westlaw and Lexis forsake us. People go to the library for a quiet study spot.
‘That the librarian has to tell (pardon me) grown-ass-law-students to not talk in the library, to not blast music, and to silence their computers is almost as ridiculous as the fact that students actually do blast their music, talk, smack, fart, and do all the other inconsiderate things that bring out the crazy in their peers.
But ‘The Obnoxious’ were born without the ability to discern what habits bother their neighbors. An email isn’t going to help. Running and crying to the librarian isn’t going to help. The only thing that will fix these people is a good old fashioned throw down – “Hi, you are annoying and this is why” – which law students aren’t apt to do, because the first thing The Obnoxious is going to do is run around and tell everyone about that crazy kid in the library who clicked off on him.
So I avoid the library to avoid The Obnoxious.
I also avoid the library to avoid those rabid over-stressers. You know, those students who can’t focus on their textbook lest it interfere with their blind panic…
Actually, the over-stressers fall into four categories:
The Talkers make the Wallowers bust out into a long funeral wail, but are quickly side-tackled by a Twitcher…and as entertaining as that is to watch, I just avoid the whole circus and study at the Pelli library downtown.
Sure, there are whole new problems at the Pelli…like beggars and snorers, but it’s a pleasant walk, beautiful view, and miles away from the drammy that is the law library during finals.
More of Professor L’s sound and fury:
Professor L: “For our last day we have a really easy agenda – actually NO! I’m gonna unleash on you! This is all my aggression for all the times you were unprepared for class! Haha, I’m kidding, you guys were really good …for the most part…”
Only in Con Law…
Professor L: “Ms. Dennel? Demmel?”
Jill: “Her name was De-mal. Sarah Demal.”
Professor L: “Yes, so Ms. Dememel? Dennel? Oh forget it! I’ll just call you Ms. D!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “So Ms. D…”
Jill: “Actually, I’m Jill. Jill Smith.”
Professor L: “Huh? Where’s Ms. Demmel? Is Ms. Demmel, Dannel, Dennel not here today?”
Jill: “Sarah Demal sat in front of me. She actually dropped out the first week of class…”
Professor L: “OH! That explains things! I just had a note here that she wasn’t here the last time I called on her… hm.”
Jill: “…So do you want me to answer?”
Professor L: “No. I didn’t even want to call on you! Forget it!”
(Class laughs)
Professor L: “This is literally sound and fury signifying nothing…THERE! I got a Shakespeare quote in! ”
(later)
Professor L: “Okay, let me turn to…Ms. Chang…oh, she’s not here. She didn’t drop out too right?”
From Torts:
Professor T: “Just the aroma of bucks will affect the flavor of the milk… and you thought you came to torts today…so what happens when your neighbor moves in next to you with buck goats?”
Jack: “Do they stink?”
Professor T: “As my daughter said, it smells worse than a skunk…so your neighbor moves in with goats and the goats just are doing what goats do: stinking up the whole neighborhood…”
From torts, Ind. H. B. R.R. Co. v. Am. Cyanamid Co., 916 F.2d 1174 (7th Cir. Ill. 1990). The gist: a railroad creates a toxic chemical spill in suburban Chicago ala DeLillo’s White Noise.
The court says: “Maybe you shouldn’t live there.”
Court: “Brutal though it may seem to say it, the inappropriate use to which land is being put in the Blue Island yard and neighborhood may be, not the transportation of hazardous chemicals, but residential living. The analogy is to building your home between the runways at O’Hare.”
Oh dear…
Professor C: “You can expect that my exam will take you 8 hours to do. Some 8 hour exams are like 2 hour exams that you have 8 hours to do, but my 8 hour exam is for 8 hours.”
(Nervous chuckles from the class)
Jill (loudly): “Gee Thanks!”
For our last day of contracts we read Alaska Packers’ Asso. v. Domenico, 117 F. 99 (9th Cir. Cal. 1902).
Professor C couldn’t resist taking a swipe at Palin…
Professor C: “So we have Salmon fishermen here. And this takes place in Alaska, which we know is close to Russia…”
Landauer v. State Industrial Acci. Com., 175 Ore. 418 (Or. 1944)
Lexis headnotes:
OVERVIEW: The claimant was employed in a poultry-processing plant. An allegedly dead turkey kicked the claimant in the breast as the claimant was processing the turkey.
The claimant filed an action for workmen’s compensation benefits seven months after the accident and alleged that the injury caused her to develop breast cancer.
The Commission refused to consider the claim on the merits because it was not filed within three months after the accident. The claimant alleged that the Commission abused its discretion in refusing to consider the merits of the action.
The court affirmed the trial court and held that the Commission did not abuse its discretion in refusing to grant the claimant permission to file her claim more than three months after the accident occurred.
The claimant should have filed her claim within three months of the accident or should have presented an affidavit by a qualified physician certifying that there was a casual connection between the accident and the development of cancer in the claimant’s breast. The Commission did not abuse its discretion in the absence of some corroboration of the claimant’s unverified petition.
