I’m 24 now.
I like to spend the night before my birthdays alone, eating trashy food, and setting goals for the coming year.
I’m 24 now.
I like to spend the night before my birthdays alone, eating trashy food, and setting goals for the coming year.
Didn’t I just do one of these week in review posts? I did. But the last review post was late. I promised to get better about it. This is me fulfilling that promise. Hi.
This week I officially became the caretaker for my apartment building. This means I have a set of master keys and get to explore all of the super-creepy storage areas in the basement.
Most of the rooms are straight out of a horror movie – spider webs, dust, filth, former tenants’ abandoned belongings…old dolls…
I somehow feel the need to write this post once a season, usually after a lawyer messages me regarding a bikini picture on this site.
My full post about branding and this blog is here, but I can be concise, I hope…
Most blog readers are familiar with mommy bloggers like Heather Armstrong, Ree Drummond, and Maggie Mason, but for some reason the legal and advertising industries are uncomfortable with real personal blogs written by law students and marketers.
Professionals expect law student blogs to either be poorly disguised resumes or anonymous blogspot accounts that strictly focus on the law school experience.
Blogs by advertisers are supposed to regurgitate Mashable’s biggest stories with the occasional foodie or knitting post. These bloggers need to appear hip, techy, and yuppie… in an urban outfitters outlet sort of way…
That is why I am a firm believer in the vogue phrase: “I don’t like that bitch, I don’t see her.”
I’m busy, there’s so little time, and I have dog poop to pick up.
That is why I have a hard time getting excited about the whole “gay rights” debate. The saga is ridiculous to me because I cannot understand why “opponents” of gay rights/marriage even care if two men or women get married and raise children.
As a crusty rising 3L, I don’t blog about school much anymore. Law school lost its new car smell about a year ago. The pedals stick, and the engine leaks.
But I remember how useful law student blogs were to me during the summer before law school, so I feel obligated to throw some unsolicited advice out into the interweb. Grab your salt, and guard your loins.
And don’t worry. I’ll be concise. Here are 5 points:
Now, when I tell an accepted law student to read Philalawyer’s letter, I get the same response: “Oh, well, gee, that sounds TERRIBLE! But well, it’ll be different for me.”
I have three things to say to that:
Just like joining the military is preferable to say, doing meth, law school is also not a terrible mistake for most people. It may be a waste of three years of your life and a lot of money, but again, it’s not meth. You’ll be fine. Maybe.
So, for those of you soldiering on,
If you only read one thing, then read “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” by Ann Demarais and Valerie White.
The most jarring thing about law school is the amount of unchecked douchebaggery going around. It’s absolutely shocking and needs to stop.
I am pretty sure that classroom etiquette sessions are part of my school’s orientation schedule next year, but the vast majority if schools don’t offer these sessions, so it is your duty not to be “that student” during orientation.
Also visit student blogs and go through the archives. Law student blogs are best orientation you can get.
Some of the classic law student blogs include: But No Thanks, Butterflyfish, and New Kid on the Hallway. But check the rest of the blogs linked on the left side of the page, and those linked at Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground.
My optometrists are at the Mall of America Lenscrafters. I love them. They are competent and the assistants are hilarious. But the downside of going to the mall for contacts is passing this place:
I discussed some of my dating prospects with Jill, a coworker, and then asked Jill if she had her eye on anyone. A law student maybe?
This summer my classmates and I are moving past law school and seeking post-graduation employment. This process involves a good deal of anger because we now realize how bad the job market is and how little our “prestigious” school actually prepared us for legal work.
It is like discovering that your “computer skills” degree from Global Flybynight University is useless, and that GFU is actually unaccredited.
Jill: “Just imagine standing over a toilet and flushing down $100,000. That’s what law school is like. And it’s horrible. It makes you chubby, and awkward, and miserable, and you actually pay for this…”
My blackberry’s broadband service disappeared on me so I trekked to the suburbs1 to the Sprint repair center.
I arrive, explain my problem, and I am told that unfortunately, my blackberry has to be reformatted. I suspect this is what happens whenever they don’t want to spend the time figuring out what the real problem is…but I shrug and ask them to save my contacts.
Since the reformatting would take 15-20 minutes, I fetched a magazine from OfficeMax and shuffled to the McDonald’s next door.
25 minutes and 1,500 calories later, I walk into the Sprint store and meet a very sad looking customer service rep.
I hung out with Jorde tonight. I keep a set of Miami-transplant friends in Minneapolis because they remind me that I am not, in fact, crazy. Call us snotty, but we don’t wear tennis shoes with dress pants, or eat at nightclubs.
The adjustment to Minneapolis was easier for me than it was for my Miami friends up here, mostly because I spent 12 years in Wichita. Although I do occasionally rock some Calle Ocho/Lincoln road tacky, like bright pink shirts.
And yes, there’s a blurry blackberry picture of that:
It is raining. I am walking the dogs. So of course I have both leashes in one hand, my blackberry in the other, and a golf umbrella balanced between my cheek and my shoulder.
That’s when I run into my new neighbor, McDreamy, who has some sort of husky mix.
Between the phone, the leashes and the umbrella, I am awkwardly juggling too many things and trying my best not to drop anything. McDreamy wants the dogs to meet but I avoid eye contact because I need to focus on keeping Gertrude from lunging at the husky. She lurches forward and yelps. I almost drop the umbrella.
I look awkward. My dog looks vicious. It’s a giant swagger fail…and I blame her:
Oh everything is absolutely fabulous and I will write shortly.
I have the same problem that Truman Capote and Oscar Wilde had: it is hard to both live life (while being present) and write about the life you’re living.
But I am here to make a quick addition to my list of the types guys that I date. To review, so far we have:
In their efforts to alienate every young, moderate conservative, Republican candidates are now sending messages like this to my inbox:
Full text after the jump
Everytime I sign into facebook I see a combination of the same trashy ads.
I walk into Dunn Brothers before work this morning and there is a tall barista who I have never seen before. The hulking Barista looks surprised:
Hulk: “Wow! You smell great! What are you wearing?”
Me: “Oh thanks, it’s Abercrombie.”
Hulk: “Is it Fierce?”
Me: “Why yes, it is fierce.”
Hulk: “I like it! I just wish they would bring back the original Abercrombie scent, you know, the one from when we were both in high school!”
Me: “Uh, when were you in high school?”
Hulk: “Mid to late 90’s…”
Me: “I’m not that old.”
Class ended (I’ll get to that later) and my first final is tomorrow.
Here are some pictures to prove that this finals season isn’t all about junkies and gloom:
The ersatz police dog:
I just skated for 12 miles around the lakes, went grocery shopping, thrashed laundry around, walked the dogs…
…and earlier I scrubbed my kitchen. I’m about to tackle more laundry before cooking. That’s why this video is PERFECT:
Get eight hours of sleep. Skipping on sleep is like not filling an empty gas tank because you are in a hurry. And unlike the silly driver, AAA can’t help a fried and sick law student.
You do not have time to battle acne, obesity, and caffeine withdrawal during finals. Plus, the fake-food is just going to drain your wallet and make you feel sluggish anyway. So go to the grocery store and stock up on your apples, peppers, bananas, nuts, cucumbers, & etc. Just don’t be “loud crunching guy” at the library or we will pelt you with oranges.
Several readers have asked why I am not participating in a “best of blogging” competition for law student blogs. The answer is simple: the competition is a scam.
It works as follows:
NoName Legal Website (NLW) needs visitors. NLW has no credibility because it is a content aggregator and offers little (or no) original content. Snooze.
But NLW has a plan! Lawyers and Law students love competition and arbitrary rankings. Heck, all the law schools in the country tout their US News Ranking while simultaneously bitching about how ridiculous the rankings are.
So NLW creates its own rankings of the top law school bloggers. NLW informs the bloggers of their nominations through pingbacks and emails. The student bloggers mention the competition and link back to NLW. The new traffic helps NLW build a reputation and to compensate for its lack of original content.
NLW now has visitors without paying for advertising space.
A rehab program rents the apartment underneath mine. This means that junkies camp out in the hallways and loom by the front door of the building until they are let in.
This also means that there is a lot of random screaming in the middle of the night.
Last night’s drunken screamfest was particularly vicious: