I don’t even if care if I get a C… I’m having too much fun…
Yesterday I took my third exam (torts).
Constitutional law and Contracts were 8-hour “take home” exams. My torts exam was a 4-hour examsoft exam.
Examsoft is a timed, basic version of MS Works, (more like Wordpad). It restarts your computer and locks you out of all other windows functions. When you finish the test, examsoft encrypts the test, reboots your computer, and uploads the test to the internet.
The exam was proctored by two intense women – “IS EVERYONE ON THE SAME SCREEN?”
Jill: “Wait! I typed in the wrong exam number.”
Proctor: “You did what? That’s never happened before… Go outside to the computer people and get it fixed. Everyone will be waiting on you.”
Jill gets her computer fixed. The proctor starts counting down to let us start… then,
Proctor #2: “Wait! Those two are sitting next to each other! MOVE ONE SEAT OVER!”
Jack: “Me?”
Proctor #1: “Yes you. You can’t sit next to someone! Move.”
The whole class watched Jack move all of his stuff over. Silence and awkwardness.
We finally get the go-ahead to start. I open the test. The test consists of one 7-page hypo: a “Department Store” employee gets trampled on Black Friday. His pregnant wife sees the trampling and has a miscarriage. He also has a heart attack that isn’t detected at the hospital.
Oh dear.
After the exam, Stella and I went to a Chinese restaurant near the Stacks. We noticed police lights outside of the restaurant as we paid. We went outside and saw what the remmidemmi was about:
Oops.
Single car accident. His airbag went off.
There’s a presumption of negligence (hah I learned something!) And the cops agreed because they had the driver sitting in the police car. Someday I might represent people like that…assuming I get employed.
I only have one more test to go – Thursday’s Civil Procedure exam. Civil procedure is my favorite class because it’s the “how to be a lawyer” course…although a lot of people seem to hate it.
I have a hard time understanding how someone can attend law school and hate the course about the mechanics of lawyering (how to file a complaint, make motions, etc.)
It’s like a car-mechanic student hating an engine repair class…or a bodybuilder who hates lifting…
Oh, and re: the cold. It wasn’t that bad! The difference between 10 degrees and -30 is akin to Rugg’s negligence distinctions:
“Chief Justice Rugg’s famous distinctions among negligence, gross negligence and recklessness as being distinctions among a fool, a damned fool, and a God-damned fool.” (Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1959.)
Although I did see someone wearing shorts. Yes. Khaki shorts and a parka.
In -30.
His legs were SO red and everyone shot him the, “…no thou didn’t!” look. A housemate pointed out that at -30, you’re an excellent frost bite candidate if you’re wearing shorts…um, yeah….Fail.
I went to Frank’s Hotdogs last night and had a chat with the owner (?) she’s a middle aged lady with several kids:
Owner: “So where ya from?”
Me: “I moved from Miami this past August.”
Owner: “OH MY GOD! You poor thing! You must think we’re crazy to live out here in this cold!”
Me: “Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s all about dressing appropriately…”
And then I wake up this morning and check the weather…
And the horror continued as I scrolled down the page…
…um.
Now there are SEVERAL problems with this.
Problem #1: The “feels like” temperature for today is -30.
I cannot fathom. Seriously. I cannot… but, I will have to because I have a torts final in an hour.
Problem #2: “Dangerous” wind chill of -40.
How fast is this wind blowing? 20, or maybe 30mph. I walk to school. Over the Mississippi. On this long-ass bridge:
Problem #3: (and this is the kicker) for tomorrow the high is -18. The description says, “bitterly cold.”
Dear weather channel.com: you’ve set me back a full 10 minutes because I have wrap my mind around this fuckery.
If -18 is bitterly cold…what the heck do you call today’s “feels like” -30?
They haven’t come up with a word have they? You sent Timmy the Intern outside to feel the -30 and he never came back! Timmy, I have your back. I’ll never forget!
Now there is a positive to all of this: I’m so preoccupied with being offended at the weather (and the weather channel.com!) that the final is not even a remote concern.
From the notes my Torts book: the epitome of police fail: finding a naked, beaten boy roaming the streets and giving him back to Jeffrey Dahmer.
“I’m on 25th and State, and there is this young man. He’s buck naked. He has been beaten up…He is really hurt….He needs some help.”
With these words, a caller asked a Milwaukee Emergency 911 operator to send help to a person in need of assistance. When the call was made, on May 27, 1990, the name Jeffrey Dahmer was largely unknown. Today, everyone knows the story of the 31-year-old chocolate factory worker, a killing machine who committed the most appalling string of homicides in this city’s history.
Estate of Sinthasomphone v. City of Milwaukee, 785 F. Supp. 1343 (E.D. Wis. 1992)
I walk in and Jamie has a look of utter disgust on his face.
Me: “What?”
Jamie: “I can’t believe you got three coffees.”
Me: “Burger King doesn’t have a large size for coffee. Only mediums!”
Jamie: “Issues.”
Me: “Blabla, law student during finals excuse. The school practically provides us with coffee IVs during finals…blabla-excuse-bla… I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM.”
As if I drink under 5 cups a day anyway… pfft. Crazy talk.
* the video on the screen is “Me and My Imagination” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor. It’s my official tort-final song.
I actually have an official song for each final.
For Contracts it was “Mausen” by MIA. and for Conlaw it was “Good Time” by Brazilian Girls.
So the conversation went something like this…
Me: “I want to make a decapitated snowman like Jessie, from Boy in Suit!”
Jamie: “Uh…no. We can’t do that!”
Me: “Why not? It would be the tort snowman! Mr. Palsgraf!”
Jamie: “Too stereotypical for this neighborhood. We have too much crime….too much real blood in the snow for that to be appropriate!”
Me: “But it’s going to be ballin’ outrageous!”
Jamie: “THE FIRST SNOW MAN I MAKE AT MY HOUSE IS NOT GOING TO BE A TORT!”
Me: “Arg! Bitch, moan, plead, interpleader!!”
Jamie: “FINE! MAKE YOUR OWN SNOW MAN!”
So we went outside, and Jamie made his Snow-woman…
That’s a total Charlie Brown pose right there…
Whenever I get sick of outlining, my torts book shoots me a jewel like this:
“On the other hand there are other kinds of medical malpractice, as where a sponge is left in the plaintiff’s abdomen after an operation, where no expert is needed to tell the jury that such events do not usually occur in the absence negligence.”
Muhaha. I love it…
Anyhoot, almost done!
Well, well…
Me: “Hm. I’ve been typing for a long time. Let me save this outline before anything happens...”
I click “save” and what happens?
Computer: “GOTCHA!”
Thankfully there’s a recovery option. I try to save the “recovered” outline and the same thing happens…so I had to copy the outline into a new file…
MS Word shouldn’t mess with me while I’m outling torts. I know my rights and I can make it look like an accident…
I’m putting Torts aside to write about yesterday’s journey in awful aka, the Big Box fiasco Part II.
So, I’ve called Big Box three times to follow-up on the Flipcam I sent out for repair.
I’m outlining Torts at Jamie’s house with my study-partner, Maverick.
A dog is the best law school study buddy ever: unlike humans, a dog can listen to tort theory for hours without actually committing a tort against the babbling law student.
Me: “So, bla bla bla, death, destruction, law suit… this is a situation of transferred intent, right?”
Maverick: “Pant, pant, bark, fart, pant-pant…yes, tell me more.”
So that’s my Friday…
So, I completely forgot to write about this: the day before my Contracts exam, I passed through campus and saw this interesting-looking building:
Last month Erik and I approached the clubhouse around midnight. It was about 25 degrees, but there were dozens of people smoking outside.
“That’s when you know something is addictive,” I said, “When it has you willingly standing around in the cold.”
Today we can tack coffee onto that list of addictive things…
I’m preparing for my contracts final at Jamie’s house. Jamie, for whatever reason, does not have a coffee machine. Gasp, I know!
It’s 12 degrees, but the coffee was calling… so, I decide to ‘take a brisk walk’ to the convenience store around the corner.
I immediately knew that the Quik Stop didn’t sell coffee (they didn’t even have a soda fountain!) but I asked the clerk anyway…
Quik Stop Clerk: “Coffee? You mean already made Coffee? Pfft. No. We don’t sell that.”
I leave the store, perturbed.
Should I go back? Well, a bit further down the street is a gas station… Surely they sell coffee…
I think “f-it” and walk a few more blocks down the street.
I don’t realize that the gas station is abandoned until I’m immediately in front of it.
Should I go back? Well, a few more blocks down the street is a Subway. Thank god for chains. Subway has to have coffee. Besides, it’s only 12 degrees. That’s like a dozen degrees before zero…
I walk into Subway, absolutely delighted. My hands are together in a mock prayer. (Yes…it’s that serious) The Subway worker gets off the phone and greets me.
Me (big smile): “Please tell me you have coffee!”
Subway Dude: “Coffee? Pfft. No. We don’t sell coffee.”
Me (mortified): “How do you not sell coffee?”
Subway Dude: “We just don’t.”
Me: “Do you know where I can buy coffee around here?”
Subway Dude: “Erm…there’s a gas station two blocks down the road…”
Me: “It’s abandoned.”
Subway Dude: “Oh, well, uh… there’s a gas station four blocks down the other road.”
Me: “Why does no one sell coffee in this neighborhood?”
Random Homeless guy behind me: “Cus black people don’t drink coffee!” **
Me (turning around): “Well THIS black person drinks coffee!”
Four blocks later I come to a hole-in-the-wall independent gas station. They have coffee. Angels sing and confetti falls from the ceiling (at least in my head).
I get two cups, and march back to Jamie’s.
** It’s a black neighborhood.
What happens when you have the review session the day of another exam:
Professor L: “I’m surprised this many of you stumbled over here for this.”
…there was also someone sleeping in the corner. Eek.
Exam advice:
Professor L: “Don’t make up facts. I don’t want to you to say there’s a man with a gun outside of the school because it happened in Lopez.”
Why we love Professor L:
Professor L: “Well in the marijuana case, the question is: does the commerce clause apply even if they are growing it at home in a little pot? No pun intended of course…”
And the final threat:
Professor L: “I’ll be around in the morning, and I’m going to answer any emails…otherwise good luck! You’ll need it…”
My bed is by the window, and I need to rethink that…
This morning around 5:30am, someone started shoveling. The grating of metal on concrete sounds like nails-on-chalkboard plus a pinch of hell.
I shook my fist and tried to go back to bed. Bah!
Luckily that was the worst part of my day. I got up 30 minutes later, made a comfort-food breakfast (pancakes, eggs, toast, green tea…) and then went to school for my final the: 8-hour “take home” Contracts exam.
Now, an 8-hour exam isn’t as bad as you might think. It felt more like having 8 hours to write a paper that I’ve already researched.
I arrive at school shortly after 8am, pick up my exam, and then scoot off to a library outside the law school.
I did my exam surrounded by intense, nerdy, scary, industrious undergrads. Around 3pm I skipped back to the law school, hit print, and handed in my exam. Contracts Crisis* Solved! (mimicking Paris).
Very few people actually take the “take home” exams home. Because what happens? Car accidents happen
Girl in hallway: “Yeah, so this morning someone almost rear ended me! Some hard honking stopped that… But then when I got onto the highway the two people in front of me spun out… god that’s my worst nightmare: missing an exam because I got in a wreck!”
Indeed. That whole getting maimed business is completely secondary concern when you’re in law school…
Plus, depending on how far you live, you’re going to lose an hour in commuting… not worth it.
So I have one exam down, and three more to go! Next is Thursday’s 8-hour Conlaw exam. Vöt!
Our Conlaw professor is holding a Q&A session for us in a few hours, so I haven’t gone home yet. I’m at Starbucks reading about the scandal of the day, and then reviewing the Conlaw outline…
********Update
Okay, I may have understated the situation when I said scandal. I’m at Starbucks literally gasping,…oh my goodness! Blagojevich royally fucked up. And you know Michelle Malkin is on the case…
*******Update #2
The official complaint is available here via the Dept. of Justice homepage…
*contracts wasn’t really a crisis…it was absolutely painless.
LexisNexis is pretty much a big deal.*
Lexis has a very liberal point system. You get points for researching, tutorials, and 400 points-a-pop for those goofy searches that the Lexis rep emails.
Lexis will give you a $5 Starbucks gift card for 400 points, and a $10 gift card for 715 points.
I’ve received five $10 gift cards so far.
That’s right. $50 in coffee. Thank you mam.
Today I’m studying for my contracts final at Starbucks, courtesy of Lexis. I hand the gift card to the chipper Barista and she asks, “Haveya registered your card yet?”
Me: (mumbling) “no… I haven’t… it’s only for $10 so…”
Barista: “Well! If ya register it you get free refills dontcha know! That’ll be 54 cents, oh, wait! Someone registered it for you. Your refills are free! Here-ya-go dontcha know!”
Holler Lexis. Holler.
Despite Lexis’s bribes, I still do most of my research on Westlaw because I’ve learned Westlaw’s shorthand for restatements… for example, “Rest 2d Contr 90” will pull up “Restatement (Second) of Contracts § 90: Promise Reasonably Inducing Action Or Forbearance.” I’m sure Lexis has a similar shorthand… I just haven’t bothered to learn it yet.
Westlaw also has a point system, but doesn’t offer gift cards. And uh, everything I’ve seen on Westlaw Rewards costs about 10,000 more points than I have. Maybe I’ll get a highlighter someday…
* No, I’m not a student rep, nor am I being paid for this.
Update **********
Apparently the coffee is so delicious that I feel the need to pour it all over myself. Wee! ITS SO WARM! (but not scalding) I’m not getting up for a while…
Update #2 **********
The fun continues on facebook…
Law students during finals are as tense as a pack of ferrets in the back of a pickup truck.
A recent email from our head librarian is an example of why I avoid the law library:
“As we approach finals, the need for a quiet study environment increases. To help, the library designates an area on the first floor as “quiet study.” This is the area along the “zig-zag” between the entrance of the first floor reading room and computer lab 153. (See attached map) Signs are posted in those areas.
One year we received a complaint about a student who was wearing flip-flops and walking to and from his carrel a bit too frequently for his neighbors. While this example may seem extreme, it highlights the general tension level that finals inspire. You will be doing yourself and your colleagues a favor if you do your part to maintain a quiet study environment.
Here are some things you can do, to help ensure that you and your neighbor are able to concentrate. Each of these suggestions, believe it or not, is based on a real complaint.
As always, our goal is to provide the best environment possible for students to effectively complete or prepare for exams. Your help is greatly appreciated as are your suggestions. If you have any thoughts on how we can improve the library, be sure to let us know. Email lawlib@umn.edu to share your thoughts or ideas.
Good luck on your exams! (And watch for occasional treats in the Law Library lobby Dec 8-19)
– Heart, your head librarian.”
To designate a ‘quiet area’ of the library is ridiculous, especially since our library has the acoustics of an opera house – you can hear a roach’s thoughts from the other side of the library…well, maybe that’s the caffeine speaking…
The main point of a library is that it’s a quiet study area. People don’t just show up for the power outlets or the sometimes-wireless. Sure, there are books and uh, things in there too, but most law students don’t use the library for research unless Westlaw and Lexis forsake us. People go to the library for a quiet study spot.
‘That the librarian has to tell (pardon me) grown-ass-law-students to not talk in the library, to not blast music, and to silence their computers is almost as ridiculous as the fact that students actually do blast their music, talk, smack, fart, and do all the other inconsiderate things that bring out the crazy in their peers.
But ‘The Obnoxious’ were born without the ability to discern what habits bother their neighbors. An email isn’t going to help. Running and crying to the librarian isn’t going to help. The only thing that will fix these people is a good old fashioned throw down – “Hi, you are annoying and this is why” – which law students aren’t apt to do, because the first thing The Obnoxious is going to do is run around and tell everyone about that crazy kid in the library who clicked off on him.
So I avoid the library to avoid The Obnoxious.
I also avoid the library to avoid those rabid over-stressers. You know, those students who can’t focus on their textbook lest it interfere with their blind panic…
Actually, the over-stressers fall into four categories:
The Talkers make the Wallowers bust out into a long funeral wail, but are quickly side-tackled by a Twitcher…and as entertaining as that is to watch, I just avoid the whole circus and study at the Pelli library downtown.
Sure, there are whole new problems at the Pelli…like beggars and snorers, but it’s a pleasant walk, beautiful view, and miles away from the drammy that is the law library during finals.
Yesterday was toilet shopping day, and today was toilet installation day!
I distracted helped Jamie between Agreed Contract Remedies and the Parol Evidence rule…
Pictures!
“Oh dear…what died down there?”
We just saw Four Christmases. As we entered the theater we saw a few teenagers get chucked out of the theater by the manager and a rent-a-cop…
Two (or however many) hours later, after the movie, we hear screaming outside of the theater. There’s the manager, the rent-a-cop, and two real cops.
And an irate father…
Pissed dad: “TICKET OR NOT YOU CAN’T THROW A BUNCH OF KIDS OUT INTO BELOW ZERO TEMPERATURES!”
Well, apparently they can. And it’s 28 degrees, thank you.
I spent the day outlining contracts.
Jamie built me a fire, because apparently I’m Renee Zellweger.
And yes, those are both my coffees…they were only 20 ounces…
He was sick during the morning so I fetched him some medicine. I then got royally lost on the way back from getting my textbooks…yeah. It was special. I tried SO hard to make it back without calling for directions, but after 45 minutes being lost for a while, I finally called…
Jamie: Uh, Fail. You’re four miles the wrong way. Turn around. Bye.
Oh well…
…Oh! And before the movie we went toilet shopping!
“I don’t know… this only has level three flushing power. I NEED A LOT OF FLUSHING POWER!
“What? This is serious!
Loading the new crapper (sorry I had to) was fun, because trunk door was frozen shut… so we had to chuck the toilet in the back seat. Hm. Yay Minnesota!
Speaking of which…someone sold the movie rights to my life! Renee Zellweger is starring in a movie where she’s a Miami business woman who moves to Minnesota and falls in love with the rugged Minnesotan hunk.
It’s like the story of my life… except my Minnesota hunk takes me toilet shopping…
So, besides getting horribly lost while driving… Momversation is the procrastination tool of choice today.
No, I’m not expecting a baby or anything. It’s just the entertainment that is Dooce & friends.
One of the topics discussed is ‘real friends vs. online friends.’ I think it’s fairly pertinent to the blawg world, especially since I’m now facebook friends with several blawgers.
I stop studying when I get this look:
It’ll be there in the morning!
