Gibs Archives - Memos and Mirth

Being “that guy”

August 1, 2009

Rainy day / city in rain photo by Rowan Heuvel via Unsplash

When Jill and I left work today it was pouring. Jill’s car was closer than mine, so she volunteered to sprint through the downpour, fetch her car, and then drive me to mine.

How did I thank her? Well, 10 minutes later Jill and I were driving our cars down the highway and the rain became blinding. Of course this happened when the road curved so I had my face up against my windshield trying to figure out where the raised median was.

Suddenly Jill’s car was behind mine – I had drifted into her lane and cut her off!

At the next light I rolled down my window and apologized profusely. Jill said “don’t worry about it” which is Minnesotan for “you crazy asshole!”

I was officially that guy.

1L summer / 1L Summer Summaries / Gibs / video

Best Summer Ever: Weeks 8 & 9

July 27, 2009

Empty library, classroom, or office by Sarah Babineau via Stocksnap

Every-other day for the past two weeks, police lights have lit up my street up like a vivacious performance.

I feel like I live in the projects without the benefit of supplemental security income. My neighbor was arrested twice in the past two weeks, and the police are constantly raging about for miscellaneous disturbances.

The problem with the police action is that the cops are the main disturbance in the neighborhood – blaring lights and shouting – and I doubt they cause this much remmidemmi when doing business in the suburbs.

Some of my friends suggested that the police drammy is exciting. And while Yesina’s first arrest was amusing, by the second arrest I was annoyed. I don’t need to hear Yesina screaming “DON’T TAKE MY BABY!” when I have a morning class the next day.

1L summer / dogs / Gibs

You can call me gimpy.

July 20, 2009

Harley knocked over a mirror last night. It was a $10 Wal-Mart mirror, so it wasn’t a big deal. I cracked open my new box of generic trash bags¹ and collected the glass shards.

When I moved to throw out the trash bag, I felt a sharp pain in my thigh – a glass shard had cut through the trash bag, through my shorts, and stabbed into my thigh.

I pulled up the leg of my shorts just in time to see the start of Bloodfest 2009. I grabbed a paper towel, pressed on the cut, and then instant messaged Gibs to see if he could drive me to the hospital.

But Gibs was at work. Drats!

1L summer / Gibs / LGBT / memories / picture of the day / Whittier / Uptown Minneapolis

Pride according to Gibs

June 28, 2009

The Minneapolis Gay Pride parade was today. I was at work, but I sent my camera with Gibs.

1L summer / dogs / Gibs

Are you thinking about the squirrel too?

May 25, 2009

Gibs and I walked Harley last night. We are crossing a street when Harley stops in the middle of the street:
Me: “What is in his mouth?”
Gibs: “Oh, it’s probably just a piece of bark…”
Me: “No, I think it’s a DEAD ANIMAL!”
Gibs: “But it’s so dark and flat.”
Me: “Maybe you’re right…”
Gibs searches his pockets for his cellphone and I search my pockets for a doggy bag. I’m using the doggy bag to remove the thing from Harley’s mouth when Gibs uses his cellphone to shine some light on the thing:
Me: “IT’S A SQUIRREL!”
Gibs: “A squirrel?”
Me: “A pancaked, run-over squirrel! That is disgusting! Remind me not to let him lick the squirrel juices on me later, because I’m going to forget...”
I chuck the squirrel-cake in the bushes and we keep walking.

Later that night we are walking up Nicollet Avenue when we see this guy stumbling towards us. The guy is in his 20’s, has a big frizzy ponytail, and is high out of his mind. So of course Friz wants to meet the dog.
Friz: “Can I pet your doggy?!”
Gibs is giving me the “WHAT THE HECK/OH MY GOD/DON’T YOU DARE” look.
Me: “Sure.”
Friz falls to the floor, grabs Harley’s face, and starts cooing and kissing him. Gibs and I exchange a “Is this guy serious?” look.

Friz then lets Harley lick all over his face.
Me (to Gibs): “Are you thinking about the squirrel too? Muhahaha…”
Friz then gets a little too comfortable with Harley. He gives him a full body hug, and then tries to PICK HIM UP.

Gibs’s face says: “WHAT WHAT WHAT?”
Harley’s face says: “Um…thou did not.”

Friz stumbles back and drops Harley. Harley walks away like, “No, fool, you are done.”
Friz: “Come back!”
Harley gives him the “bitch please” look and we keep walking.¹

¹ Gibs thought it was crazy that I let Friz pet the dog, but I explained that the dead-squirrel-licking made it totally worth it. Also, I trust that a bullmastiff will let someone know when they cross the line…