I’m reading for tax when I look over and see Gertrude picking up my wallet. I shout at her to drop it. She scampers off.
Then I see:
I’ll see if my warranty covers this foolishness. If not, I may rock a fierce pair of Rottweiler gloves tomorrow ala Cruella de Vil.
Since getting Gertrude, I don’t let Harley sleep on my bed anymore because 2 dogs on the bed makes me feel like I’m sleeping in a homeless shelter. I always wake up to a paw or an ass in my face. They sore, they fart, and that’s just not working for me.
So I cracked down and kicked them both out and they now know to sleep in their doggy beds.
So of course when I’m not looking:
When I told him to get off the bed, he sassed me like, “Psshaw. Please. Who are you to interrupt my slumber?”
Last night I went to the softball fundraiser at The Eagle. The drag queens were hilarious, but one was so drunk that she had to take emergency “powder room” breaks to vomit. We stay classy in Minneapolis…
Doesn’t Buffy look just like Suze Orman?
The boyfriend also broke things off last night.1 We talked by the bar as a drag queen darted behind us to throw up in the bathroom. The timing was great.
It was one of those moments where I felt like an actor in someone else’s movie. All that was missing was “Done with you” slowly fading in and the start of the credits.
Actually, if I was directing, Adele’s “Tired” would come on and I would perform it Bollywood style with a pack of yarking drag queens in the background. That would be awesome.
1 The breakup was amicable and unsurprising. My corporate and international tax books are currently battling as to which class gets to be my rebound.
The attendance at Trivia was sparse last night. We still won with our three-person team since Randy happened to know 90% of the answers.
Last night was special because of our new Trivia host: Amy.
This is totally a “Paula was okay but Ellen is so much better” situation.
This is Jake, taking pictures on his phone:
He’s really good about taking pictures… posting them is another matter.
And this is Joel’s standard look. He calls it “pondering” but everyone else calls it “bored and unengaged.”
The real message is: “Bitch, my hat is fly. I cannot be bothered.”
Yesterday Joel and I went shopping for toilet seat covers.
Watching Joel ponder the choices was hilarious: white or off-white? Round or oval? Plastic or ceramic? The differences in the potty-seat covers were negligible, but Joel and the Home Depot attendant acted as if Joel was picking something to wear on the red carpet.
I did the same thing last year with Jamie, except for last year we shopped for toilets and this year I’m shopping for toilet seat covers. At this rate my next trip to home depot will be for a plunger or maybe even a toilet brush!! These are wild times people…
Joel and I ran several other errands including a trip past Punch Pizza. Joel had a $6-off coupon, but so did the 100 lined up on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.
I kept driving because I refuse to wait outside in line for anything in freezing temperatures unless it involves getting my car out of an impound lot or free Beyonce tickets. And unless Beyonce was breaking it down in the Pizzeria, I didn’t miss much. Next time Punch!
Minneapolis is one huge ice rink.
This morning I fell while walking the dogs down the hill. I fell on my hip and then crashed into the dogs like a human bowling ball. Yelping and shouting ensued. I then sat on the ground laughing like an idiot while the dogs looked at me like, “Why in the hell did you do that!?”
The skyway at school was soaked from people’s boots. I almost had a repeat of this morning’s fall and slipped 4 times in 40 seconds. I expect a tuition credit when I break my ankle.
Our epic night started with an epic movie – Avatar.
I was weary of that movie. I am not a big science fiction fan, and the poster of the blue people looked ridiculous. However, this is the most talked-about movie since Paranormal Activity, so I gave into the buzz. Eric was the best person to go with because it was his 4th time seeing the movie!
We went to the swank ShowPlace ICON theater in St. Louis Park. The theater has a free parking ramp, a lounge and bar, and HD menus at the concession stand.
I thought it was odd that the theater had numbered rows and seats like an airplane. This is a great idea for busier nights, but the theater had about 20 people in it and all of us sat awkwardly close together.
Eric and I were in an empty row when this odd man plops in the seat right next to me. Of course it is his assigned seat. A few minutes later, Oddball inserts himself into our conversation and starts telling us his childhood stories. Oddball is about to launch into another story when three of my classmates enter the theater, greet me, and inform us “bitch, you’re in our seats!”
Turns out we didn’t know how to read the row numbers.
So we happily move away from Oddball and nestled in the better, actually-assigned seating for nearly 3 hours of intense cinematography. The movie had stunning special effects, but my attention eroded during the last 20 minutes because the movie was so damn long…
Afterwards we met up with Sabrina at the 19 Bar, where we danced to Beyonce and got into a heated conversation with a boyish lesbian DJ about house music.
Then we went to the Saloon. It was hip-hop night and we had a hilarious time, but there was also at least one black eye and several people yarking all over the place – no one in our party of course, because we keep it classy…
There was also a trip to the Uptown Diner and Eric finally got to meet Gertrude, who has taken a liking to him:
I wonder if I can get shots of all of my friends with the dogs…
Today was a little miserable. My nose started running at the Saloon last night and I assumed that it was another allergic reaction to Eric’s cats. This afternoon the nasal congestion turned into full blown sneezing sickness, so I am going to take my diseased self to bed. After the dog walk of course…
Last night Joel and I went to the KS95 concert at the Varsity Theater. The concert’s headliners were Uncle Kracker and Colbie Cailatt.
Uncle Kracker’s performance was underwhelming. He just sat the entire time and had minimal crowd interaction. Colbie, whose name I can’t pronounce, was really pleasant to watch and listen to. She’s no Lady Gaga, Brit-Brit, or Beyonce…but she’s a little livelier than Nora Jones and a little less scandalous than Miley.
After the show, Joel and I went to Loring Pasta Bar for a little come-to-Jesus meeting, where Joel had Jesus lighting:
Which brings up a tangent I forgot to go on: the ridiculousness that is becoming “facebook official.”
Facebook official status seems like a casual, trivial thing, but it is actually like sending an engagement announcement to your 600 not-so-closest friends.
Then, after a few weeks or months (when the honeymoon heat fades) facebook-official status can create an awkward feeling of entrapment. Is the other person as serious as you are? Does someone want to break up? Is he a vampire? Are you willing to make that facebook change and take the aftermath?
It’s like calling off a wedding – no one ever believes that the bride and groom sat down calmly over coffee and mutually parted ways. No, everyone from your school dean to your mom will imagine some grand Revolutionary-Road style fight. There has to be screaming, shattered glass, a restraining order, a dead hamster… ie, drama.
None of that happened last night at the Pasta bar. It was more “Can you meet me half way?” than “Ring the Alarm” and there’s no break up or restraining order that I’m aware of. Now the hamster is another matter…
I’m really proud of this picture:
Although it obviously took a few tries:
Despite her best efforts, Gertrude had to chose between the couch and the bone.
This picture is a small miracle:
Getting these two to stay still and face the camera is nearly impossible because Gertrude always jumps off the couch when I get up to take a picture.
Last night they both slept on my bed, which was a …cozy situation. I have two doggy beds, so the bedtime pile-up will be short lived.
I also need to move my desk. The desk is in a corner right now and it’s completely awkward when these two needy lugs wrap around my chair, vying for attention.
The desk change and the bed-time rules must wait until tomorrow because I am too exhausted to enforce anything tonight. I may round up the party and go to bed soon.
Both Getrude and Harley seem utterly uninterested in each other, which is better than the WW3 scenario the people at the humane society were expecting. Both however, are being incredibly needy and nudging my legs.
Updates soon.
Joel and I went to a Vietnamese restaurant1 tonight.
We have not seen each other in about two weeks and needed to dish about our trips.2 Joel brought back a cookie from the Carnegie deli, which is apparently a famous something-or-other from up yonder.
I dropped Joel off, and when I turned onto my street I found it blocked off by an ambulance and a police car. Of course the ambulance was for downstairs neighbor, and the police were pounding on his door when I entered the apartment.
I don’t understand what is going on. The police and ambulance left, and now downstairs neighbor is blaring music…what the hey? This better not mark a repeat of last summer…
I signed up for the gym across from the office today.
UMN forces us to pay for the school gym, but it is horribly inconvenient to get to. I have lost 30 pound since last summer, but I did not go to the gym once last semester. My weight loss is mostly due to my diet: non processed foods, no wheat, no lactose.
Another part of the weight loss is a decrease in muscle mass. I am constantly stuck in the lean vs. bulk dilemma – I can’t decide if I want to bulk up or slim down, but all I know is that my current weight is not working.
I felt horribly scrawny this weekend compared to the South Beach roid. There’s no call to fitness like a weekend in Miami…
So tomorrow marks the first day that I am back to working on my fitness. We’ll see how this goes.
I had some cute pictures of Angelo that I forgot to post. Behold:
Angelo went home on Sunday, and his parents said that he seems lonely.
I suspect there are some play dates in Harley’s future.
I went to Barnes and Noble after work. I wandered the store looking lost and bewildered. If I wasn’t in my work clothes they would have mistaken me for an invalid that ran away from his court-appointed guardian.
This was the first time in months that I was in a bookstore for pleasure. I used to love Barnes and Noble, but today everything looked ridiculous. There were aisles romance novels, get-rich-quick, find-jesus, John Grisham-bootlegs, and Jillian Michaels1 with her dominatrix glare.
Oh and Twilight. The horny-teen-vampires were everywhere. Harry Potter has been replaced by werewolf abs.
All of the magazines looked terrible. J-Lo was famished. Ashton Kutcher was airbrushed. Paula Deen was cracked out and Oprah looked tired.
I bought Writer’s Digest and drove home. The magazine is still in the bag. I am tired and can’t be bothered.
I leave for Miami on Thursday, so my days consist of getting up, going to work, coming home to walk the dog and sleep. No one is forcing me to work full time over the break, but I have a job, and that job is contingent on me being a student. Without any guarantee that my company will hire me after graduation, I cannot justify working less than full-time now.
Barbri expenses are around the corner. Rent. Emergency fund. Coffee. I’m a chipmunk hoarding acorns for a long winter.
Plus work is fun. I’m with classmates and students from other schools. Someone is always has a story about a professor, family member, interesting case or class. There’s coffee, constant laughter, and yes, a paycheck. Novels and magazines can wait. Things are fun right now.
1 And you know I own a Jillian Michaels book (see here)
I spent some time going through the archives this evening. This blog starts during my freshman year in college and it is sobering to go back and re-read the entries.
I was surprised when I saw this picture from around my 20th birthday:
That was only three years ago, and so much has changed. I am not going to live in the archives, but it is nice to know that the posts I write today will have the same time-capsule effect as my odd-ball college posts.
College was fun. There were car-crashes, parties, music, caffeine, and a lot of junk food. There was also Matt, who (along with Carlos!) is one of the must-see people during my upcoming trip back to Miami.
The people I remember as freshmen are college seniors now. Most of my college friends have already graduated, moved out of Florida, and gotten jobs or breast implants…the blog and facebook allows us to stalk keep up with each other, even if we don’t “stay in touch” regularly.
Chronicling the present here makes moving forward that much more exciting because I know in three more years I can look back on today and remember what it felt like to be 23 in the city.
We’ll see how this goes.
I’m dogsitting Joel’s brother’s pug.
The pug was initially too hyper for Harley. The pug tore into the room and swung around Harley.
Harley shot me a look like “who brought the circus in?”
The pug has calmed down, and Harley likes him now. They have even started practicing their blank stares:
I was going to do a grand “year in review” post, but it’s unnecessary. An outline of spring semester is here, the summer summary is here, and the outline of fall semester is here.
This was the year of surprises. Here are 10 unexpected things that happened this year, in no particular order…
I’m quieter, tired, but still smirking.
We received over a foot of snow during Christmas week, which then melted for a day and refroze.
And (to my great amusement) this has turned into quite the exercise program for Harley:
