Memos and Mirth

OTR: Professor V on codeine

October 17, 2008

Well, this is going to be interesting…

Professor V: “Having just taken my codeine cough syrup, we will get a chance to see what hallucinations look like when imposed on Civil Procedure.”

Lawyers have a knack for understatements.

A defendant files an answer to a 32-count complaint: “We neither admit nor deny the allegations, but demand strict proof thereof.” The judge dismissed the answer and entered it as an admission – ie, the defendant was screwed.

Professor V’s analysis?

Professor V: “Pleading is not an area that permits creativity by lawyers.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Canoeists

October 16, 2008

Watch them drown!
Professor T: “Like canoeists overturning in the river and drowning! We always take our picnics up by the rapids on sunny Saturday afternoons so we can watch the canoeists in the river tip over and drown. It’s one of favorite things to do. It’s like a sport.”
Why should you know?
Professor L: “Mpk? That means impact. I was in college debate so I have this bad experience using abbreviations that no one has any reason to know.”
There were some Native Americans in the casebook…
Students: “The language, about ‘going on the warpath.”
Professor T: “Yes?”
Students: “It bothers me.”
How to drive:
Professor T: “Thieves have 47-times higher risk of crash. Why?”
Student: “Because they are concerned about escape, not the car?”
Professor T: “And because car thieves like high speed chases! It’s part of the rush of being a car theft!”
Student (in the back): “Drive it like you stole it….”
Why?
Professor T: “Was it the right decision?”
Student: “No?”
Professor T: “Great! I want you to say no. Why is it no? Why did you say no?”
Student: “Uh, because you implied that it was no?”

Who’s next?!
Student: “…so they sued everyone.”
Professor T: “Great! Get your rolodex!”

gamma eta gamma / Law School / Life

Sippin’ the debate

October 15, 2008

Tonight at the Gamma house we are watching the debate, and playing Michelle Malkin’s debate drinking game. Every time we hear these words we take a sip of Captain Morgan:

GREED.GREEDY.
RESCUE.
EARMARKS.
TAX CREDITS.
WALL STREET.
MAIN STREET.
HEALTH CARE.
JUDGMENT.
BUSH. BUSH. BUSH.
BIPARTISAN.
UUUHHHH
MY FRIENDS
ACROSS THE AISLE
WHEELS OF THE STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS
I AGREE
MIDDLE CLASS

Life

Self control

October 15, 2008

Our legal writing sections meet once a week. The students in most legal writing sections take turns bringing breakfast for everyone. Me this week. You next week. Sarah the week after, etc. The leftovers end up in the downstairs common area of the law school.

Well, this morning there was just a gold-mine of food…cookies, bagels, pastries, muffins, cake… fresh coffee… it was ridiculous, delicious, and I partook like a fat kid at Thanksgiving.

So I’m in CivPro SSG. I have a pile of cookies and bagels that I’m working on. The girl next to me keeps telling me how good the cookies smell. I offer her one.

She responds, “No, it smells amazing, but I don’t want that in me.”

I thought, (while stuffing my face cookie) “Now that’s self control.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

On the Record: Some will fail

October 15, 2008

Most of you won’t suck at life…
Professor C: “Most of you will do fine. The vast majority of you will do this fine. You’ll get a B or better. Even if you’re in the B minus range, that’s fine as long as that’s not your average. Now, you’re thinking “what if I’m not in that group?” Well… heh.”
(Professor shrugs and moves on)
Professor C: “No matter how hard some of you study you’re not going to get an A. You’re just not. It’s true.”
Had enough?
Professor V: “Is this allowed under rule 15(a)(2) even if 12(h)(1)(b)(ii) only allows amendments by 15(a)(1)? Is there an expressio unius argument here? Does anyone want to drop out of law school right now? Just checking…”
Why we love Car Accidents …
Professor T: “It’s the bread and butter of the business. It’s the McDonalds of the Tort business. It’s going to pay the overhead of the office, pay your Westlaw Subscription…”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Bleak futures and why we love the law

October 14, 2008

Lucky Guesses don’t cut it in law school…
Professor C: “So how much can they recover?”
Student: “Fifty thousand?”
Professor C: “Great! How’d you get there?”
Student: “Aside from guessing?”
Professor C: “Well, that’s one way to do it…but it won’t work on the exam.”

Progress as measured by torts!
Professor T: “As medical technology changes there are new opportunities for things to go wrong!”
Bleak futures:
Professor T: “We say 60% of our students are practicing food law. Food law is anything that puts food on the table.”
(Class gasps….nervous chuckles…heh heh )
Student (in back): “That’s encouraging…”
Why we love the law:
Professor T: “I’m going to sue him at the drop of a hat! And so are you! That’s why we are in law school and why we love this stuff.”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

On the Record

October 13, 2008

From the Torts Reading: “Chief Justice Rugg’s famous distinctions among negligence, gross negligence and recklessness as being distinctions among a fool, a damned fool, and a God-damned fool.” (Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1959.)

Well, kinda?

Professor C: “The Court says, “Usually no, but sometimes yes, based on if we say so.”

What’s that smell?

Professor T: “What do you mean fishy? That’s a technical legal term?”

Professor T: “And when our kids were born we wanted to bury the placenta under the tree out front…”

Life

Quarantine

October 12, 2008

I may be a law student, but horror movies still make me gleeful like a 13-year-old. (“WOAH! That was ballin’-outrageous!” WOO!”)

I just saw the movie “Quarantine.” It was so scary that I think it ate a little bit of my soul…

The movie is about a camera crew that is embedded with a fire rescue unit. They respond to an emergency call in an apartment building where a rabies-like virus is turning everyone into flesh eating zombies.

And they, of course, are quarantined in said building.

The result is sheer terror.

“Hm…something is amiss in this here yonder…”

The woman exiting the theater in front of me summed it up perfectly:
Random woman (on her cell): “Girl, this is the scariest movie I’ve seen in my 29 years. I started crying. Seriously. I’m not playing! I’m never going to go to sleep again!”

The movie is shot in the Cloverfield style… think Cloverfield meets 28 Days Later. This movie does everything right. We have 20 minutes of character development so we care, then an interesting cast of characters (that aren’t the typical stock characters), and then, well, horror.

And the movie exploits the audience’s anticipation of events. Half the time I was dreading something, “OH NO, THE MONSTER IS GONNA GET UP! OH NO MAM! AHHH!!” and the other half of the time the terror just happened without warning. The pacing was great. Bla, bla, blasay, blablabla… the point is: terror. AH!

Now, (perhaps appropriately) I’m at the Freighthouse Café reading Torts…

gamma eta gamma / Law School / Life / pictures

Sea of girls

October 11, 2008

Law students at lesbian night. You know it was special.

So Erik and I were having issues with a portly woman, who kept invading our space on the dance floor. The consensus was that while gay guys may be incredibly bitchy, some ladies are just rude.

The Cupid Shuffle was tragic because it was so crowded and half the ladies had never done it before.
I made a semi-scene (Miss P calls it “having an audience”) with some um… moves.
Miss P. found her long-time old-time admirer…and ditched her again.

But Erik and I colluded and set up Miss P. on a blind date with Erik’s ladyfriend. It’s in 2 hours. We are chaperoning. Oh my. There will be pictures…

Last night:

Life

Qball the unknown

October 11, 2008

Awkward moment of the night: I’m at happy hour with J. and this middle aged bald guy with weird eyebrows taps me on the shoulders:
Qball: “Hey, how are you?”
Me: “Hi…?”
Qball: “I know you from somewhere. I don’t know where though.”
Me: “Oh?”
Qball: “Yes. Online. Somewhere.”
Me: “Eh… I don’t think so.”
Qball: “Yes. Definitely. True. Are you on True.com. You messaged me on True.”
Me: “Uh… I don’t think so. I’m not on True.”
(Qball continues for a few minutes, insisting he’s messaged me on True. I couldn’t find a tactful way to say, “No. I am very sure I never messaged you. In a million years. Ever.”)
Qball finally left.

J. shot me a look like, “…hoe.”
J.: “Interesting eyebrows though.”
(I try to wipe the look of mortification from my face.)
After happy hour, Erik, Paige, Dave, and I went to the Kitty Kat Club…which was special. Pictures later today. Erik is setting Miss P up for a date tomorrow! WOO! We’ll see how that goes.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: More than just eye candy

October 10, 2008

Usually…
Professor V: “People who conspire to act against federal law don’t advertise that fact in the Wall Street Journal…”
Not so hypothetical hypo:
Professor T: “Suppose the 35W bridge collapses…”
Jill’s blunt summary:
Jill: “So the doctor operates on this woman and she starts leaking urine in places where urine is not supposed to be…”
Librarians aren’t all looks:
Research Librarian: “Use librarians! We are more than just eye candy: we are professionals.”

Asides:
Professor T: “This is an absolutely true story – sometimes I embellish the facts – but this is an absolutely true story…”
Professor L: “When you’re talking about a diseased cow, or a germ infected rag – I know it’s a bit early for this case – but the court says…”

Life

Random overshare: I found some tape…

October 9, 2008

I found some tape and decided to throw some pictures on the wall. And for those of you who are wondering, no, my room in Minnesota will never be on the same level as my old dorm room, but that’s okay. Pictures!

The two drawings pinned to the cork board aren’t mine. I found them stuck into random art books at Barnes and Noble. Hm.

Law School – 1L

River Road Café

October 8, 2008

As if I needed yet another café to add to my 15-odd study places! A new Dunn Brothers store opened on campus. It’s called the “River Road Café”, and it’s part of a swank, newly renovated building.

The coolest thing about this place is the tables. They feature some of the pellets from the former mineral resources center.

Law School – 1L

The Gaffe Rule

October 8, 2008

I sat down in Contracts this morning…
Classmate: “So how about that CivPro reading?”
Me: “I’m almost done with all the questions.”
Classmate: “Yeah the telephone case was interesting.”
Me: “…uh…what telephone case?”
Um. Yeah. Guess who read the wrong assignment!

I read the assignment for tomorrow, not today. I was ahead and yet behind at the same time. Odd feeling.

So my hour-lunch break between Contracts and CivPro was interesting… but I got the (correct) assignment done.

And apparently my classmate had the same conversation with another person earlier…which reinforces one of the golden rules of law school: “Gaffes are rarely unique.”

Life

Reconsidering facebook

October 7, 2008

I’ve jealously guarded my facebook profile ever since the twitter fiasco. My profile is private on the network and I haven’t added people that I don’t recognize. But, I rejected eight friend requests this week…and although I’m not sure if that’s rude according to internet etiquette, it’s making me reconsider my policy.

I’m pretty sure a few of these people are other blawgers, and I think one girl is in …Conlaw? Or maybe an organization I’m in… I have no idea.

I realized that my facebook account doesn’t have anything on it that’s not available on this blog, my twitter, myspace, or photolog… so not adding people – as random as they may be – is well, stupid.

So add me if you’d like. If you were among the eight rejected friend requests, I apologize. I’m not a tool, I promise.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

OTR: Professor T and the gas tank

October 7, 2008

Professor T started young…
Professor T: “My parents informed me of the first tort I committed. I was little. I had my little shovel and sand bucket… and as a little kid I was intrigued by gas tanks! And we didn’t have the locks on the gas tanks that we have now…so I’m just sort of pouring sand into the gas hole…”
Tort Liability for Children…
Professor T: “If we held children to an adult standard, what would every reasonably prudent parent do? LOCK THEM IN THE CLOSET! We’d lock them in a closet until they were 18 and then push them onto the street!”
The Crazy…
Professor T: “So how does the court deal with the contention that ‘I couldn’t adhere to the standard of a reasonably objective person because I’m stark raving mad?’”
Professor T: “We saw this in an earlier case when the caretaker comes into the room and the insane person says, ‘come in here and I’ll bash your brains out’ and lord and behold she bashes her brains out…”

I know we are smart but…
Professor T: “We live in Minnesota, but not all of the children are above average.”
Professor T: “Wow the room gets really quite when you start talking about exams…”

Law School / Life / on the record

The Original Bridge to Nowhere

October 7, 2008

Joseph Yates (Bixby Creek Bridge, Monterey.) via Unsplash

We just finished the Luten Bridge case (Rockingham County v. Luten Bridge Co.) in Contracts.

Like the Kirksey case, this is another situation where the history behind the case reveals a more interesting (and complex) story.

Law School – 1L

How I made it to contracts…

October 7, 2008

Today is indie bookstore appreciation day… I think.

It’s raining. I’m at the Purple Onion Café. My umbrella is at school. Contracts starts in 30 minutes.

I review my options:

Walk to school, get soaked, and hope I don’t get Pneumonia.
Spend $10 to cab a quarter mile to school.
Stay at the Café, skip class, and just do work all day.

An entire day off to do homework was exciting…hm. Skipping class to study? I think I just earned my nerd card…

Alternatives? Well, the school bookstore is far enough from the Café to get Pneumonia (and soaked enough to make an umbrella useless)…hm. I don’t have cash for a cab…they probably take credit card…

Then, ding-ding-ding, I remember that my neighborhood is dotted with overpriced indie school-apparel stores! YAY!

I then shuffle to the closest one, thinking, “Please be open…please be open…” – thankfully it’s open! I barge in, spot a tiny novelty umbrella, and snatch like it’s a Tickle-Me-Elmo during Christmas-time…

The store owner comes from the back.
Me: “Is this the biggest umbrella you have?”
Owner: “That’s the only umbrella I have. You’re a lucky customer… I only have two in the whole store.”
Me: “Then it’ll have to do! Great!”
Owner: Fourteen dollars please.
Bleh.

Later, I cut through a building on the way to the law school and realized that the front pocket of my backpack was open.

You know…the pocket with my cellphone and camera… which, thanks to my new micro-sized umbrella, weren’t that soaked. Had I braved-it and walked through the rain…lol. Well.

But I made it to school, semi dry… and now I’m in contracts wondering why I didn’t just stay at the café…

**** UPDATE
So it turns out that my umbrella was IN MY BACKPACK THE ENTIRE TIME…but that the books had crushed it so it was broken…so yeah. I had to buy a new umbrella anyway.

Law School / legal humor / on the record

On the Record: Professor T

October 6, 2008

The main event:
Professor T: “We don’t want to make a trial the show you take on the road before you take it to broadway. THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT!”
Let me rephrase…
Professor T: “Tom, have we seen a case like this before?”
Tom: “Uh…”
Professor T: “Let me ask the question a different way. MARK! have we seen a case like this before?”

What would he do?
Professor T: “A reasonable person doesn’t jump out of a car!”
Student: “Uh..wait, yes they do!”
Professor T: “Does the reasonably prudent person walk all over frail old men?”

legal humor / the cases

When Jesus doesn’t take the wheel…

October 6, 2008

From my Torts reading…

Breunig v. American Family Ins. Co
Supreme Court of Wisconsin, 1970

Action for personal injuries received by plaintiff when his truck was struck by a car driven on the wrong side of the highway by Mrs. Erma Veith.

The psychiatrist testified Mrs. Veith told him she was driving on a road when she believed that God was taking ahold of the steering wheel and was directing her car. She saw the truck coming and stepped on the gas in order to become air-borne because she knew she could fly because Batman does it. To her surprise she was not air-borne before striking the truck, but after the impact she was flying…