These are the rest of the pictures from Harley’s pre-finals frolic in the snow.
These are some pictures I took of1 35W ruins on campus last month.
Drake was also on my list of possible law schools. The Des Moines area experienced some major flooding the next summer, shortly before I committed to going to UMN law. It felt like a disaster avoided.
The new I-35W Saint Anthony Falls Bridge opened a month after I moved to Minneapolis. Around that time the Washington Avenue pedestrian bridge was also deemed unsafe.
The Washington Avenue bridge remained under construction for most of the semester and the area that was “safe” to use kept getting smaller, and smaller. There was also this ridiculous situation of bikers plowing through pedestrians in the 14-foot safe area. The school eventually posted cops in the bridge to ticket people who biked across the bridge.
I think those cops should have been devoted to catching the mystery bike groper sooner, but I don’t know if that would have actually worked…
1 At least that’s what I think they are.
I threw my groceries into my apartment, snatched my caretaker’s snow shovel from downstairs, and then ran outside to help excise the jeep.
The African couple in the jeep was screaming at each other and questioning their decision to move to America. We made progress on their car when a plumbing company’s van got stuck on the other side of the street.
Chaos ensued. Snow and smoke flew from the stalled vehicles. The Mexican plumbers cursed in Spanish. The Africans cursed in heavily accented English. A traffic jam developed.
Me: “There are stalled cars on both sides of my street. Each car is blocking an alley entrance and a traffic jam is building.”
311 operator: “Okay, so?”
Me: “Uh, well, can you send a tow truck or a plow truck to help? The cars are causing a traffic jam…”
311 operator: “I can send traffic control to give them a ticket.”
Me: “Well, that’s not going to help anyone. And traffic control just drove by and didn’t even stop to help.”
311 operator: “Sir, there’s a snow storm going on. We are busy dealing with real accidents and real emergencies. I can send someone out to give them a ticket, and that’s it. What is the car’s license plate number?”
Me: “Nevermind.”
Click.
People came out of apartments and cars to help push and shovel. Even the Africans briefly stopped worrying about their own car to help push the van.
No progress was happening with the van. Then, suddenly the van lurched backwards and looked like it was going to T-bone the African’s car. There was screaming, but the van managed to stop 2 inches from the driver’s door. The van then slid back across the street and promptly got restuck.
The van driver ran to a nearby apartment building and summoned a small troupe of Mexicans to help him push the van. I then helped the Africans shovel around their car and we eventually got them unstuck.
Between the Mexicans and the other drivers, we had a small mob of people to help excise the van. The van driver was so happy when we freed his van, that he passed around $5 bills to the crowd.
Score!
NPR said that the snow storm would worsen Wednesday. They used the term “blinding snow” so I figured that I had to go into work yesterday afternoon to avoid the impending whiteout.
I rethought the wisdom of going to work while crossing the Mendota bridge. The snow clung to my windshield and a semi-truck tailgated me Jeepers Creepers-style. I was surely going to die there on that bridge. Who was going to walk Harley?
I made it to work alive and worked for 10 hours.
I considered leaving around 7pm because the building felt abandoned and the snow had picked up – I felt like the lone beachgoer who didn’t get the memo about the typhoon.
After a gchat consultation with a classmate, I decided to stick it out until midnight, and I am glad that I did.
I was shocked by how bright it was outside of the office. A team of caterpillar plow trucks had cleared a pathway to my car, and one of the drivers lit up my car as I defrosted and scraped the windows.
The roads in Eagan were semi-plowed, and the speeding drivers of the afternoon had vanished to the ER.
I made it home before 1am. The next task was walking the much-neglected dog. I put on my gear: snowboots, face mask, 2 pairs of long johns, gloves… and then took Harley outside looking like a Chechen sniper.
Unlike the bitching I got earlier this semester, the dog LOVED the deep snow! He was so excited that I had to take him off the leash because he kept dragging me through the snow as if he was on an audition to become Santa’s next reindeer.
I took Harley to the park this morning so he could continue his frolicking. Pictures are here.
I checked weather.com this morning and let’s just say the “winter storm warning” is in all caps and the word blizzard was mentioned. Maybe we are getting another Snowmageddon?
Good news is that the bullshit storm starts TOMORROW, so I have one day of non-weather-chaos.
I was exhausted after school today, so Harley and I took a nap after the afternoon walk.
I woke up to snoring around 7:30pm. I forgot that Harley was the one sleeping next to me, so when I turned to tell Joel that he was snoring too loudly, I was greeted by a smiling bullmastiff mug, which promptly blew snot all over my face. Bleh.
Harley and I walked around Lake of the Isles tonight.
Some of the mansions around the lake have gaudy holiday displays that have beautiful reflections on the lake. The walk was unusual because it was cloudless and oddly quiet due to the lack of screaming children and intense middle-aged runners. The lake surface was still except for when we were approached by a flock of shadowed geese that glided towards us like a little army of Loch ness monsters.
Harley saw the geese and did his imposing, big-dog “Imma eat all y’all” stance.
The geese said “nevermind” and floated back into the darkness.
After the walk, I sat down and finished the reading for tomorrow. I always do my tax law reading first. Tax is typically the longest and most difficult assignment I have – and it makes all of the other assignments read like James Patterson novels minus the dramatic cliffhangers.
Tomorrow’s lunch period needs to be ultra productive because I am going to try to make it to Trivia night in St. Paul. Our team is called “Beauty and the Beasts” and we came in second place last week despite only having three people:
We’ll see how we do tomorrow.
The goons are out in the neighborhood tonight.
Harley and I were a few blocks away from my apartment, turning a corner, when I heard a gunshot.
I stood still, watched the street, and had two thoughts:
After a moment I cautiously continued down the street. Everything was quiet. We were halfway down the block when another shot came from behind the houses. Harley looked up at me like “this is some bullshit.”
And it was.
Once I got to the end of the block, a sketchy guy wearing all black flew around the corner. He clutched something in his coat pocket. I avoided eye contact and kept Harley in a short leash.
Sketch turned into the alleyway, and I made my way to a busier street.
Tomorrow, I clean my closets.
Further evidence as to why I don’t text and drive – on the way to work today I almost smacked into an industrial sized trash bin that was rolling middle of the highway. It was on the top oart of a hill like an obstruction in Mario Kart.
I did a quick gasp/swerve combo and the person tailgating me did the same.
I then called 311 and got my daily dose of government inefficiency:
311 operator: “Minneapolis 311. How can we help?”
Me: “I’m driving eastbound on highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road. Could you send someone to remove it?”
311 operator: “You’ll have to call 911 for that and tell them to remove it.”
Me: “Okay.”
So I called 911.
911 operator: “911.”
Me: “Uh, hi. I was driving down eastbound highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road. Could you send someone to remove it?”
911 operator: “You’ll have to call highway patrol for that and tell them to remove it.”
Me: “Okay.”
So I was transferred to highway patrol, and about 10 miles away from the trash bin at this point.
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “Highway Patrol.”
Me: “Uh, hi. I was –“
911 operator (cutting in): “Yes we have an obstruction on highway 62 eastbound near 32nd Avenue.”
Me: “Huh?”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “Before the overpass?”
Me (Wondering if I should be part of this convo): “Well, uh –”
911 operator: “Yes.”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “What’s going on?”
Me: “Uh, I was driving down eastbound highway 62 and almost hit an industrial trash can rolling in the middle of the road.”
Highway Patrol dispatcher: “We’ll send someone right out!”
Me: “Thanks…”
I ran into The Graces this morning.
The Graces are my neighborhood’s shockingly inappropriate trio of women. The Graces are like Matryoshka dolls: one is obese, another is chubby, and one is normal-sized.
I walked by the Graces on this morning’s dog walk. It’s 10am and the Graces are sitting on a retention wall passing a bottle of liquor1 when Chubby Grace spots my dog:
Chubby Grace: “Dog!”
Normal Grace: “Yes. A dog.”
Chubby Grace: “That’s a big dog.”
Obese Grace: “Sure is! Tee hee hee!”
Chubby Grace: “And the dog has an asshole!”
Obese and Normal Grace are occupied with the bottle.
Chubby Grace is transfixed on my dog’s butt.
I am uncomfortable.
Me: “Hm. I don’t know how to respond to that….but …have a great day!”
Harley and I scamper off, leaving the Graces with their bottle.
What the hell neighborhood. What. The. Hell.
1 Yes, at 10am on a Sunday. And this is odd because the bottle was in a brown bag and the liquor stores are closed on Sundays.
It feels like fall, it feels like finals.
The leaves lasted for (what feels like) two weeks. Some trees dropped their leaves immediately, whereas others went out in style:
That’s over now. Almost all of the trees are bare. The neighborhood feels both naked and urban because the buildings are no longer hidden by the trees.
The darkness is as glaring as the bare trees. It is pitch black by 5:30pm, so the evening commute feels like 30 days of night with potholes.
But I was warned. When I first came to law school the 2Ls warned me:
Scary 2L: “Finals are bleak. It will be dark when you go to school and dark when you come home.”
Insert a Dr. Evil cackle, and you have your typical doomsday-prophesizing 2L…coming to a cover of an Enquirer near you!
The darkness is why I spend as little time in the law school as possible. The classrooms are in the basement, so students who don’t make an effort to leave for lunch end up as pale as vampires.1
Besides avoiding vampires, my aim this coming week is to take better care of myself. The past few weeks were disastrous for my health – it’s as if I said, “Hey! Finals are coming up! How about I get as little sleep as possible, eat shitty food, stop working out, and then pump up the caffeine – surely they make caffeine IVs – and then I can have a nice Michael Moore chin to keep me warm and cushy for finals.”
Sexy.
The turkey is the only thing that needs to be festively plump this month.2 The marathon training begins in earnest tomorrow. Now excuse me while I get some of that much-needed sleep.
1 These are the same students who can be found hissing at whisperers in the library… I think they are trying to keep with the theme.
2 And the only thing that needs a turkey neck, mmkay?
Cliché but required. It’s not fall without pictures of the leaves:
I posted this picture earlier this year on facebook:
Respect for lease. Surely a sign of a bad economy.
But things have gotten much, much worse:
Oh look, it’s Kerli. There are several abandoned buildings in Jack’s part of Minneapolis. I spotted this street art on one of them:
Other photography posts:
The neighborhood children haven’t discovered that no one really cares if you smash the jackolanterns after Halloween.
So they sit and rot:
Photos of Minneapolis, the city of the $42 traffic ticket.
These are photos that I am not sure that I posted. I apologize if they appear in earlier posts.
Here are three random wallpapers that I have used in the past few weeks.
The first wallpaper is a facade of an old mill. The second wallpaper is the cheesy obligatory “it’s fall” shot. And the last wallpaper is a closeup of a spray-painted and utility box.
More wallpapers are here.
Here are some pictures I took of Saint Anthony Falls, which was (according to Wikipedia) the only major natural waterfall on the Mississippi.
Click the thumbnails to view larger versions.
More photography on No.634:
It is 41 degrees outside (“feels like 34”) and raining, so of course the dog wakes me up:
Harley: “Time to go poopy!”
Me (looking outside): “Bitch please. Go back to sleep.”
Harley: “Poopy! Can’t wait. Noooow please.”
Me: “Fine, fine…5 more minutes…”
Harley: “The pudding can’t wait!”
Harley jumps off my bed and scampers off.
I’m putting my jeans on to take the dog out when a hear a toot from the living room.
Harley trots out of his kennel by the time I get there. There’s a big-steamy-pile of surprise in the kennel. Harley wags his tail until I start with the hysterics:
Me: “GOD DAMMIT! THIS IS UNFAIR! I WAS GETTING READY!”
Harley: “Unfair? Equity isn’t for those who sleep on their rights beyotch! Poopy couldn’t wait.”
I clean up the bullshit surprise and then put Harley’s leash on. He gives me a look like, “What’s that for? I’ve already relieved myself.”
Me: “I am not going to be the only one going outside in this plague weather!”
Harley: “But it’s coooold and wet!”
Me: “MY POINT EXACTLY!”
Five minutes later we are on the corner of the block and I’m trying to explain to Harley how he cannot both wake me up at an ungodly hour AND sass me for the crappy weather. My glares/mental rant are interrupted when I see Mel on the corner of the street.
I haven’t seen Mel since this summer. But tonight she was working the street – without an umbrella – standing on the corner looking wet and miserable.
Prostitutes on my block were everywhere this summer, but most of them had enough sense to take their work inside once the weather started to turn. But not Mel! Rain or shine, Mel is always in business. She’s on that USPS level.
I give Mel a look like “it’s time to invest in an umbrella or reconsider your career choices.”
She glares.
The dog snorts at her and we walk off.
One morning during orientation training, I was surprised to find a turkey meandering outside of the law school. I didn’t trust my eyes, so I dragged one of the other orientation leaders over to the window to see if, in fact, had lost it.
The other orientation leader (who is from Minnesota) calmly informed me that Minnesota has wild turkeys and that this particular turkey was known to hang around the law school.
I am used to alligators, but somehow still fascinated by the thought of a wild turkey roaming around campus.
Okay, so Minnesota has wild turkeys…and very cold looking seagulls:
If I wrote about how I really feel right now, my law school career counselor would probably let out a primal scream and assault me in the hallway.
So, no profanity editorializing – I am just going to state the facts:
Methinks it’s winter now.
Update (post dog walk): so, I officially scrapped tonight’s plans of outlining tax law. Tonight’s new project is teaching Harley how to use a litter box.
The weight of the snow causes mini avalanches from the trees. It feels like the trees are chucking snow down on the sidewalk out of bitterness like “WHY IS THERE SNOW ON ME? I STILL HAVE LEAVES DAMMIT!”
So, I felt like the star of my own video game! I am Super Mario with a golf umbrella and sack of dog poop. The object of the game was to hop around the neighborhood without getting dumped on by the trees. 1up my people!
It was a lot of fun. I take back all my bitching about the snow….which is only getting worse by the way:
