racism Archives - Memos and Mirth

Racism in Oak Lawn gay bars, winter in Dallas, Women Who Draw

December 12, 2016

Man at club by Soren Astrup Jorgenson via Unsplash.

Here’s what I’m talking about this morning.

1. Why some gay bars refuse to play hip-hop music: It’s usually because of racism.

We had an unfortunate situation in the gayborhood recently. The short story: A DJ at one of the bars allegedly complained about black customers requesting hip-hop music. Variants of the n-word were used to refer to the customers.

Of course this conversation happened via text, and screenshots were widely circulated on Facebook. Now people are outraged and some are boycotting that bar.

This is part of a broader tendency of gay bars to shy away from playing hip-hop music. The perception among some bars is that hip-hop music attracts an unsavory crowd that doesn’t spend much money and tends to get into fights.

The problem is that “we don’t play hip-hop because of the crowd” is often a veiled way of saying “we don’t want black people here.”

The result is that hip-hop (other than the stray Beyonce song) gets relegated to the bars with the worst standards, and stereotypes just reinforce themselves.

Daily

Off-leash dogs, Ghost in the Shell, Donald Trump

December 2, 2016

Here’s what I’m talking about this morning.

1. Privilege: A woman walked into the coffee shop yesterday morning. She had blonde hair, chunky heels, and a large dog with a bedazzled collar. It wasn’t leashed.

The dog walked up to all of the café guests and eventually settled on a salt-and-pepper guy who wanted to pet it. The owner was completely unaware of what her dog was doing.

This happens all of the time. There are even a few dogs in my building that I have never seen on a leash.

The off-leash approach only seems to work for a certain type of person. (Typically, a young blonde woman.) I tried to carry my leashed Chihuahua into Starbucks once when I first moved to Dallas. And I was promptly greeted by a barista screaming about health code.

I see dogs in that Starbucks often now. Maybe you need a certain type of swagger to pull it off?

2. White people: On a semi-related note, I watched a documentary called White People that you should check out.

movies

White People: The Documentary

December 1, 2016

Two girls from Brisbane, Australia, shot by Neill Kumar via Unsplash

I came across a MTV documentary called “White People.”

The 2015 documentary is by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Jose Antonio Vargas.

In the film, Vargas goes to several places around the country and interviews young white people both in individual and group settings.

The film is deliciously awkward, and full of quotes like, “As a white person, you kind of get this feeling that things belong to you.”

Although many say that the documentary doesn’t go deep enough, I think it’s still worth watching.

Just Sayin

Nazis by another name

November 22, 2016

The men in the audience

The 1972 movie Cabaret is centered around a German nightclub during the rise of the Nazi Party.

Dallas / dogs

Microaggressions or Safe Assumptions?

May 6, 2016

It is around 8 a.m. and I am walking the dogs near the Highland Park Whole Foods.

I come across an older woman in a track suit.

Blanche Devereaux: “Are those your dogs?”
Me (Taking off my headphones): “Pardon me?”
Blanche : “The dogs. Are they yours?”
Me: “Um, yes…”
Blanche: “Well they are just lovely! Have a good morning walk.”

Blanche then gets into a waiting town car.

Later that day, I tell one of my neighbors about the encounter, and she is horrified.

Jill: “That’s terrible!”
Me: “Why? She was perfectly nice, I just thought it was an odd question…”
Jill: “You know that’s a microaggression, right? She thought you were a dog walker!”
Me: “That’s hilarious, and strangely appropriate for the neighborhood.”

Just Sayin / Life / TV

Real Housewives of Potomac & Race

April 21, 2016

About those light skinned girls…

I recently finished the Real Housewives of Potomac reunion show and whew, that was some drama.

Real Housewives of Potomac was appointment viewing for us this spring.

Like every show in the Real Housewives franchise, there are mansions, one-line zingers, the Andy Cohen-hosted reunion, and shade.

This is the second installment (after Atlanta) to feature an all-black cast, and race was constant source of drama.

Just Sayin / Life

White Stonewall

September 17, 2015

Stonewall comes out tomorrow and people are pissed.

My Facebook feed has been full of complaints about the Stonewall movie ever since the trailer came out.

The most common objection to the film (or at least the trailer) is that it focuses on the fictional story of an attractive, square-jawed blonde guy.

This is supposedly problematic because the real heroes of Stonewall were a diverse collection of drag queens, lesbians, transgender individuals, and ethnic/racial minorities.

But here we have these diverse historical figures relegated to bit roles while we focus on a classically handsome white male.

My response? Of course it stars a white guy.

Hollywood is dominated by white males. That’s how we get ridiculous moments like Matt Damon explaining diversity to Effie Brown on Project Greenlight. (Effie is also the only person in the room who isn’t a white male.)

Just Sayin / Life / memories / Minneapolis-St. Paul

Adonis in Minnesota

October 14, 2014

I once had a friend, Jack, who I dreaded going out with.

Jack chose his “friends” primarily based on looks, so we’d inevitably end up in a large group of guys who were as bored with themselves as they were with each other.

One day we ended up at a large table at Lush with about 10 of his “friends.” The “workout routine conversation” was exhausted the night before and we weren’t allowed to talk about school or work because half of the table was under-employed.

So the group was dead silent as everyone browsed the Grindr profiles of the guys next to them.

It was sad, and awkward.

I excused myself to the restroom, where I ran into my friend Jill.

Jill: “You’re at quite the A-list table today. They are all so pretty!”
Me: “Being on the A-list is pretty fucking miserable then.”

humor / Life / overheard / Whittier / Uptown Minneapolis

Awkward and racist: Flem at the Coffeshop

October 26, 2009

My tax reading at Dunn Brothers (a coffee chain) was interrupted by some heavy drama.

First, I had the mildly annoying situation of my coffee gift card reading as if there is only 31 cents on it when the online balance is $49. The balance should be about $93 because I put $44 on it yesterday… anyway, that is NOT the drama keeping me from my tax reading…

The drama was Flem, the crazy, coughing man who was speaking REALLY LOUDLY on his phone and engaging in total overshare. Here are some gems:

Flem: “I cough, and I cough, and I cough. I live in a homeless shelter with about 40 other men and I am the loudest cougher in there.”

Flem: “Wait, I have another call coming in…yes sir. Yes. Yes sir. Well let me put you on my reject list…”

Flem: “…and I was riding my bike, all 230 pounds of me, and I crashed on the sidewalk and cracked my rib…”

Flem: “I’m living with a bunch of negros. At the homeless shelter it’s all negros. And I’m not a fan of the blacks. And no, they can’t hear me – I’m on the white part of town.”

Flem: “Things are rough here in Minneapolis. I just sold my last food stamps for $30.”

Flem: “I am taking all my medications, I’m doing all the right things…I keep my pajamas and flipflops there, I have my own uh…”

Flem: “I keep thinking I’m dying of some incurable lung cancer because it hurts so much…”

So I am sitting here exchanging smirks with the people around me. I love that this man sold his last food stamps but had a working cellphone with a headset. One of the Baristas did not appreciate Flem’s black-comments and asked Flem to leave.

Barista: “Um, excuse me sir. Can you please leave? You are bothering customers.”
Flem: “Okay, I dig it. I dig it.”
Barista: “Uh, thank you.”

The Barista goes back behind the counter and Flem changes his mind and goes ape-shit:

Flem: “BUT WHAT ABOUT WHAT FREE SPEECH? IS THERE NO FUCKING FREE SPEECH AT DUNN BROTHERS?! HUH?”

Barista: “DUDE! Get out of here!”

Flem: “No! I will not get out of here! The police won’t come before I get here! Blacks are niggers! NIGGERS! I know because I live with them!”

Barista: “DUDE! Shut up and leave!”

Flem: “NO I WILL NOT LEAVE! I WILL STAND HERE! CRACK CULTURE SUCKS! BLACK CULTURE SUCKS! EVERYONE IN HERE IS WHITE!”

Flem apparently didn’t see the five Somalis, the Mexican dude, or me.

Flem turns up the volume. He’s throwing a full out fit. Everyone gasps. The scene is charged and totally awkward.

This man is literally standing in the doorway, head raised at the sky screaming like a toddler having a temper tantrum. This was ten types of crazy. Hello Minneapolis!

Flem eventually left. I am just glad I am by the back door so I can dash out when Flem comes back with a gun…