I recently attended the 38th Annual Conference of the National Association of State Bar Tax Sections (NASBTS) at Alston & Bird LLP in downtown Washington D.C.
About 20-30 states were represented at this year’s NASBTS conference, and it was fascinating meeting tax practitioners from across the country, including Minnesota, Texas, and Florida.
I have a new Texas tax article over at The Dallas Morning News — it’s about a New York tax appeal case involving Match Group CEO Gregory Blatt.
Blatt moved to Dallas from NYC back in 2009 after becoming the CEO of Dallas-based dating site Match.com. Prior to that, he ran the legal department of Match’s parent company, IAC.
My most recent article for The Dallas Morning News is about how Texas lawmakers plan on handling tax issues in the upcoming legislative session.
Lowering taxes is a common GOP policy goal, but the actual proposals differ dramatically.
Texas is one of the few places in the country without a state income tax. (This was a pleasant surprise when I moved from Minnesota.)
My latest post for The Dallas Morning News is about where Texas gets its revenue from in the absence of an income tax:
Here’s an outline of my spring semester. A lot happened…
January: The semester starts.
See, in law school Saturdays are off the chain. Behold:
How do I contain myself? Someone call Lindsay…
I was scrubbing three inches of snow off my car at 5:30am and arrived at school by 6.
After two hours of excitement and trying to make sense of § 1031 exchanges, I went to the exam room with a pile of books and tabbed notes. I didn’t feel the least bit ridiculous carrying so much crap because these are the tools of comfort. If the professor says open note, then I will bring my notes on the not-so-off chance that I will have to look up the answer to an obscure question.
The exam consisted of multiple choice and short answer. The multiple choice questions were pretty straightforward and not as hard as the questions on the practice exam. No odd-color questions besides the 1031 essay question.
The problem I had with studying the § 1031 material is that the numbers in Professor A’s examples were off…but, tax being OVER, this is all blissfully irrelevant until next semester’s corporate tax class.
1 down. Four to go. Now, off to prepare for exam #2: Employment law.
It’s 8:23am and 17 degrees.
I was supposed to leave for my last tax law class at 8:20am, but I am still on my street, attempting to start my frozen car.
The car starts.
It’s time to do a 3-point turn.
I move the car into the street and my brakes fail. All I can do is clutch the steering wheel and give a pathetic look as my car slowly slides into the side of the car across the street.
Luckily, my car is sliding SO slowly that I don’t leave any dents or set off any alarms. I did a quick check to see if anyone saw the hot messitude and then booked it to class.
Professor A: “I think, when you look back on this semester, and particularly this class, you will remember that this is the first class you had at 8 in the morning…
…and now, the last day of class is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor! President Roosevelt said that this is “the day that will live in infamy” and I don’t know if that pertains to this class or the exam…but uh, I decided to start the day by giving you something. So here are some chocolates!”
Professor A ended class with a longer, prepared speech. And that was it. My tax class was over. Tax was definitely my favorite class this semester, probably because it was the most challenging. (And yes, I was a CivPro buff 1L year as well…)
The final is in exactly a week. Heavenly…
Professor E: “Thank you for a great semester. Even from the first day you’ve been great, which is unusual…”
Professor E then darted out of the room as we clapped, which was awkward, but as a 2L I have grown to expect, accept, and embrace the awkwardness that is law school.
It’s like being in a Dilbert Comic strip with heavy books and beavers instead of cats.
I spent most of the day with the tax outline.
Finals preparation comes with a sense of accomplishment that is absent from everyday class reading. I love the periodic realization that a topic confusing in class suddenly makes sense! It’s like:
My tax preparation is an advent calendar of these small victories.1
I spent the majority of the semester lost and overwhelmed with information and expected not to remember anything from the beginning of the semester. But it turns out that the topics built on each other, so the early material was ingrained in me throughout the semester. Glensaw Glass, Old Colony Trust, Hickman, … I get it, I think. Maybe. We’ll see…
I also spent some time at work today. During a break, I had a phone conversation with the boyfriend. I think he understands that the next 17 days determine my grades for the semester and that I’ll shower when it’s over.2
But until then, I am in that unapologetic, self-involved, hermit mode called “law student during finals.”
The boyfriend claims to understand and says he’s supportive, but I suspect he’s thinking: “Crap. I’m dating a hunchback.”
That’s actually a reference to Transylmania, a slapstick horror comedy we saw last night. The movie has a huge cast of characters, including a hot Romanian girl who seduces a guy online, but neglects to tell him about her hideous, veiny, hunchback.
That sums up the situation.
The neglect has an end date (Dec. 22nd!) and I’m sure everything’s gonna be alright.
I was exhausted after school today, so Harley and I took a nap after the afternoon walk.
I woke up to snoring around 7:30pm. I forgot that Harley was the one sleeping next to me, so when I turned to tell Joel that he was snoring too loudly, I was greeted by a smiling bullmastiff mug, which promptly blew snot all over my face. Bleh.
Harley and I walked around Lake of the Isles tonight.
Some of the mansions around the lake have gaudy holiday displays that have beautiful reflections on the lake. The walk was unusual because it was cloudless and oddly quiet due to the lack of screaming children and intense middle-aged runners. The lake surface was still except for when we were approached by a flock of shadowed geese that glided towards us like a little army of Loch ness monsters.
Harley saw the geese and did his imposing, big-dog “Imma eat all y’all” stance.
The geese said “nevermind” and floated back into the darkness.
After the walk, I sat down and finished the reading for tomorrow. I always do my tax law reading first. Tax is typically the longest and most difficult assignment I have – and it makes all of the other assignments read like James Patterson novels minus the dramatic cliffhangers.
Tomorrow’s lunch period needs to be ultra productive because I am going to try to make it to Trivia night in St. Paul. Our team is called “Beauty and the Beasts” and we came in second place last week despite only having three people:
We’ll see how we do tomorrow.
This morning the dog woke me up shortly before 7am like “It’s poopy time! Take me out or suffer!”
We were walking down the street within three minutes because I still regret the last time I made him wait.
In my hurry to get him outside I didn’t do any hair or teeth brushing, so the dog peed on poles as I tried to light the poles on fire with my morning dragon breath. It was like a blow-torch of funk.
7am is the best time to walk the dog because all of the school children are at the bus tops. The Somali girls are afraid of the dog but the Mexican boys love him.
We got to the end of the block when two huge fire trucks swung onto the street and stopped right in front of us. I was suddenly floodlit and I couldn’t decide whether to bust out with “RING THE ALARM” or not.
The firemen stepped out of the truck like “welcome to the gunshow” in such an annoyed, unhurried way that I could tell this was a response some old lady who fell and called the fire department through her life alert. Apparently my dragon breath didn’t lite anything on fire after all…
One hour later I was in Tax law. This week’s topic is like-kind exchanges and I was so unspeakably confused that I didn’t even know how to articulate my confusion.
I spent the last 10 minutes of class hunched over, flustered, and staring hopelessly at the problems the professor was whizzing through on the board. What the…
I have never felt so confused in law school. I was so flustered that I skipped Employment law, went home, and walked the dog. I was too disoriented to pay attention in employment law, so it will have to wait until after the break.
After today’s second dog walk, I went to the Mall of America. I have not been to the mall in a long time and had forgotten how ridiculous the mall is: blaring music, bitchy sales clerks, and ridiculous ads. I felt like Zoolander would pop around the corner any second and strike a pose.
I was at the mall because I needed to go to LensCrafters for a contact fitting. I lost my glasses this weekend at the Saloon, so I figured prescription contacts are a safer (and cheaper) alternative. On the way out of the mall, I smelled a Hollister store from five stores away and remembered that I was out of cologne.
Hollister seemed full of bored teenage employees until I actually needed a cashier. Nevermind that I didn’t just walk out of the store and actually hunted down a cashier down to purchase a $40 bottle of cologne… He didn’t say a word to me and barely made eye contact, but I wasn’t going to lecture the 16 year old on good customer service because he obviously hated his job and not making commission.
So I was drenched in the Hollister cologne when I walked into work shortly thereafter. It was hard to get into the building today because the great wall of turkey blocked the building’s entryway.
My company gives out turkeys to its 7,000-odd employees. The frozen turkeys were in big white boxes that were trucked in and stacked on giant pallets. There was a solid 6 foot wall of turkey boxes which I had to walk around to get to work.
I picked up my turkey on the way home. It’s in the freezer now. I’ll figure THAT disaster later.
I was only home briefly to drop off the turkey before turning around and going to Innuendo for Trivia Night with Joel and Kurt. We came in second place to this overly intense group of regulars. The win of the night was coaxing Jake the Trivia Host to play the Halle Berry. Aye!
My only class tomorrow is Tax, and I hope it’s not as awful as today… unrealistic expectations?
If my tax professor is anything, he is honest:
Professor A: I am forcing you guys to learn about like-kind exchanges for three reasons:
Other Professor A posts:
There is a scene in the latest SAW movie where a lawyer finds out that the key to save her is in the stomach of another person.
The lawyer takes a circular saw and immediately tries to slice the guy’s stomach open to get the key. Screaming and chaos ensues.
During that scene I turned to Joel and whispered, “THAT is law school.”
And it’s true. The size of the saw depends on the intensity of the curve. Vrrrm! Bitches!
The last two weeks have been the most irritating academic weeks of my life. I am tired, mortified, and annoyed. Sing it with me now!
I am always amused when I write these “Best Week Ever” week-in-review posts for difficult weeks.The chipper title is based on the premise that there is no such thing as a bad day. Yes, my name is Pollyanna and I am here to rock.
There is always something amusing happening and positive way to spin the worst disasters short of zombies taking over the earth.
The “Best Week Ever” title is basically a reminder, before I begin writing about an awful week, that things are not so awful, and that I should keep the bitching to a minimum and focus on the amusing things.
And amusing things did happen….really…week 9 started with a Tax law midterm. All the studying I did for the midterm was an utter waste of time and my answers were as eloquent as Miss Teen South Carolina:
“Um, capital gains, and the Iraq and all the little expenditure children…and stuff. That’s hot. And so totally deductible!”
After the epic fail Tax exam I turned around and finished my moot court brief.
The problem with the timing of the brief was that it was due on Wednesday and I have four classes Tuesdays and Wednesdays which means I have at least 3-4 hours worth of reading to do on top of life.
And the fact that Modern Real Estate went from a fluffy review of property to a brutally complicated tour of mortgage rights…didn’t help.
I worked on the brief at Dunn Brothers and there was a dramatic scene with a racist homeless guy who did not notice the four black people in the cafe. Screaming, N-bombs, and hilarity. The awkwardness was amazing.
I also officially started dating Joel. One night Joel turned to me and said,
Joel: “Um, we’ve been dating for five weeks now, and I was just wondering where this is going?”
Me: “Five weeks? What? Law school has me in a time warp…where am I? What year is it?”
Joel: “So I was wondering what my facebook status should be…”
Me: “Whatever you’d like! Well, don’t you DARE put married until you put a ring on it…”
Joel: “Uh, okay…”
Me: “SILENCE! I am channeling Sasha Fierce! Watch the wind sway my hair and be dazzled by my funky fresh moves…Hootyhoo! Time to get back to the Tax regs…”
So we became official during the beginning of week 8, and last night I met his parents and brother. Apparently I am the first boyfriend he has ever brought home to a formal dinner. Eek!
No plates were thrown or shots fired, so I guess everything went well? Maybe?
Anyway, I survived the parental inspection, the tax midterm, and the moot court brief. Coming up next is: Finals!
And the 2L fun continues…
In a perfect world…
Professor A: “Cleaning supplies should be deductible. Maybe in a perfect world the IRS would monitor the spic-and-span, the toilet paper, and all that crap and see if it is taxable, but they don’t.”
Words of Wisdom:
Professor A: “This is another one of my tax rules: you can’t have your cake and eat it too. If a tax scheme looks too good to be true, it is. And you and your client will get into trouble if you participate.”
Other Tax law posts:
Note: I refer to my tax professor as “Professor A” simply because “Professor T” was taken. The naming issue was really bad during my first semester when I had Contracts, Conlaw, and Civil Procedure.
My tax professor has his priorities right:
Professor A: “I should have your midterms back, but I am going to three sporting events in the next three days instead of grading your papers…it’s a sports overload that my wife’s not very happy about…”
My employment law professor keeps warning us that the ERISA material is boring:
Professor I: “I guarantee you the ERISA preemption case is…uh…well, it’s not fun. Good luck with that! See you next week!”
(I actually think the ERISA regulations are interesting and get to read a lot of ERISA-cases at work.)
My Real Estate law class has gone from a dull review of property law to an ultra-complicated look at the secondary mortgage market and rights of the mortgagee upon non-payment
Professor E: “Let me just tell you where we are going to start on Monday because I feel like I did enough damage today...”
I think most of us are unspeakably confused in that class. Thank goodness employment law and conlaw II are still easy…
After finishing the tax midterm I turned around and began fixing my brief for moot court.
I have been parked in my living room going on 10 hours, and Harley is not quite sure why I am home so much. He keeps shooting me glares like, “Bitch, where’s my biscuit?”
The ridiculousness ends tomorrow (until finals that is), thank goodness.
What in the hell was that? This tax midterm has been a rabid monkey on my back for the past week. I was either studying for it or thinking about how I should be studying for it… and all that energy was a complete, and utter waste.
It’s time to get my 80’s headband out and sing:
That’s right.
The exam had two questions. The first question was a very basic capital gains problem, but the second part of the question was so poorly written ambiguous that the 5 classmates that I spoke to afterward each interpreted the question in a different way.
And the second question was a multi-part beast that several partnership-related facts. We did not cover partnerships in class at all, so I had to do some on-the-spot digging in the tax regulations. This is probably ripe with fail. Womp. Good thing this is only 15% of my grade…
Anyhoot. I am moving on, and going to Dunn Brothers to work on my moot court brief.
Last class we filled out evaluations:
Professor A: “Thank you for filling out my teaching evaluations. They are being evaluated by the Afghanistan election commission so it’s going to take some time to get a result…”
Professor A, who practices at a fancy firm downtown, gives us practice tips:
Professor A: “Today’s practice tip: You can’t expect all of your clients to like you. You can only hope that they respect you.”
The professor then told us about a news story where a policeman’s wife had an affair with a doctor. The policeman found out, lured the doctor to his house, threatened to sue, and then demanded $150,000. The doctor gave the policeman $25,000, which did not constitute a gift.
Professor A: “The newspaper story did not say what the basis of the policeman’s threatened suit would be…but then again, only people from Arkansas know what their law is.”
Real Estate Law: Professor E on title searches:
Professor E: “There are people who just love to do title searches. To them it’s just a huge puzzle and they love the history involved! But most people would rather shoot themselves…”
My tax professor’s asides:
Professor A: “Part of what started this stink was smartass business school professors…”
Professor A: “I’m sorry I’m not my usual sparkling self. I spent a long weekend in Boston eating way too much seafood…”