On the Record: Cool Whip Bowls & Deadly Mantraps

All about Cool Whip Bowls:
Professor C: “We’ll see how coherent I can be…”
Professor C: “This case is about a machine that makes Cool Whip bowls. I was going to bring in a Cool Whip bowl, but I wasn’t done with my Cool Whip and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice it…”
Professor C: “So you have a machine that makes these Cool Whip bowls…and someone as injured. And now you have a hand that comes out looking like a Cool Whip bowl…which is not a good look.”
Professor C: “Indemnity clause: our machine turns your hands into Cool Whip bowls.”
Professor C: “Idiot! Who ever heard of a Cool Whip bowl without a reverse trim?! Come on!”
Why we hate this statute:
Professor C: “Let’s look at the comments…erm…well it turns out that this statute is so complicated that even the drafters get it wrong.”
Professor C: “If you want my nitpicky academic analysis I’d say…”
Professor C: “I think any sense that this does make is overwhelmed by the confusion the statute creates…”
Are you sure?
Professor C: “Well?”
Student: “No.”
Professor C: “Try again.”
Student: “Yes.”
Professor C: “Good. Don’t worry. This is hard material. You’ll look back at this one day and understand it… nor not...”
The Lumberjack Returns:
Professor T: “and I go to my house, and five minutes later, who shows up?”
Student: “The one legged lumberjack?”
Professor T: “Right! So the one legged lumberjack is coming in the front door brandishing his beer bottle… I have five exits and a shotgun…”
Home Improvement:
Professor T: “The virtue of living in a dome is that we have a lot exits.”
Professor T: “You know what opens a glass door? A rock.”
Deadly Mantrap Liability.
Student: “But in the Iowa case they had a “No Trespassing” sign!”
Professor T: “But in the Iowa case they didn’t have a sign that said, “BEWARE DEADLY MANTRAP”
Retail Loss Prevention:
Professor T: “I like all these back rooms. The back rooms with handcuffs…who had a back room?”
Student: “Well, I don’t know if they actually USED the handcuffs…”
Professor T: “Yeah, they just dangled them in front of people to intimidate them?”
Student: “Heck, I just sold coffee. I dunno.”