advice Archives - Memos and Mirth

How to Own the Room

January 31, 2018

A palm room inside of Union Station in Washington D.C.

The second semester of my Georgetown tax LL.M. program is marked by a lot of procedural and practical courses. That’s one of the best things about learning from adjunct professors — they tell you how things work in practice and what traps they see other lawyers falling for.

This week one of my adjunct SALT professors shared a networking chart that she keeps a laminated copy of in her car.

Networking is a skill that I’m constantly trying to become less awkward at, so I made a point of looking-up the chart after class. (Also, if one of the leading SALT practitioners in the country tells you to read something, you do it.)

Law School – 1L / unsolicited advice

Picking a law school

July 29, 2010

Man working on laptop by Bench Accounting via Unsplash

Update 12/30/2016 – A lot has changed since this post was originally published in 2010 – The ABA has since required law schools to publish standardized disclosures, rendering a lot of the information below outdated. Check out newer law student blogs for more up-to-date information.

Since my last advice post I received a lot of messages from 0Ls trying to choose between schools. Here are three common themes:

1) Prestige.

Unless you are considering a top 5 or top 10 school, focus on what city or region you want to practice law in.

For example, if you want to live in Seattle, then going to Less Prestigious School of Law in downtown Seattle is probably a better idea than going to a “top 40” school in Georgia.

The top 10-40 schools will tout the few alumni who made it in swank, distant cities to oversell their national reputation. Go to the “okay” school in the city you want to practice in, volunteer, build a network of local attorneys and land a job.

Just Sayin / Law School / unsolicited advice

Final exam check list for 1Ls

April 30, 2010

Focus text in book by Romain Vignes via StockSnap

1. Breathe.

2. Sleep.

Get eight hours of sleep. Skipping on sleep is like not filling an empty gas tank because you are in a hurry. And unlike the silly driver, AAA can’t help a fried and sick law student.

3. Eat healthy, skip on caffeine.

You do not have time to battle acne, obesity, and caffeine withdrawal during finals. Plus, the fake-food is just going to drain your wallet and make you feel sluggish anyway. So go to the grocery store and stock up on your apples, peppers, bananas, nuts, cucumbers, & etc. Just don’t be “loud crunching guy” at the library or we will pelt you with oranges.

unsolicited advice

Networking within school.

September 2, 2009

My most recent post over at The Shark is about the importance of “networking” within law school. The idea is to create a base of meaningful acquaintances. The semi-rambling post is here.

unsolicited advice

Pass the salt?

August 31, 2009

My most recent post over at The Shark addresses the need for 1Ls to take all the advice that is freely offered (online or in school) with a grain of salt. Read the post here.

I’m an orientation leader for my law school, so our 1Ls are definitely going to get a swig of the Morton’s. The point is: don’t panic and figure out what’s right for you.

0L / unsolicited advice

1L Frequently asked questions

August 8, 2009

The soon-to-be 1Ls are lighting up my inbox, and I’m starting to get duplicate questions.

The typical email starts with a variation of “Hi, I start law school the fall. I saw your blog, and didn’t get a chance to read it. Can you answer these questions?” I can, I did, and I will – but don’t be offended if you’re linked to this post (or this one).

Here are some of the common questions this week:
1L: “I’m thinking of getting a rolly backpack…and”
A: No, no, no, no, no, no, NO. Do not. Put down the fug and step away slowly. Yes we see people considering them every year, and it confuses me. Assuming your law school has student lockers, there is no reason for you to carry around 5 law books at one time, so a rolly bag is unnecessary. I simply carry my books in my hand because typically I’m going to my locker to exchange one book for another. And I find that when I’m studying, I’m not going to focus on more than one or two classes, so dragging a stack of books to the library is unnecessary. Don’t be that guy or girl who looks like they are about to catch the next flight to fugville. See: Jill on backpacks

1L: “What supplements should I buy?”
A: I recommend waiting for your professor to recommend a supplement. Check the syllabus. Some professors teach from the supplements, and other professors insist that you shouldn’t read anything but your casebook. I also recommend waiting to buy supplements until the middle of the semester when you have a better idea of what you don’t know. You’re not going to score any points or good will by bringing up obscure arguments from a hornbook. If you are inconsolably freaked out, then make a few purchases from West’s Nutshell series. These tend to be just enough to get you grounded in a subject. If you feel cheap, then wait until you get your LexisNexis and Westlaw passwords. Westlaw contains treatises like Wright & Miller (for Civil Procedure) and Lexis has course outlines.

1L: “I want to start a blog but I don’t know if I can keep up with it…”
A: Assuming your blogging goals are somewhat similar to mine (see post here), then my best advice is to sign up for a blog at wordpress.com and give it a shot. The trick is to post every day, even if it’s just a sentence or two. The second you stop posting consistently is when your blog is most likely to die. And yes, most blawgs die. See Three Years of Hell, and Frugal

1L (following up): “Why wordpress?”
A: WordPress is the standard for blogging software. WordPress.com accounts are free and easily customizable. The problem with blogspot and typepad blogs is that these services don’t have as many options and it is harder for people to comment on those blogs. Also, if you’re feeling fancy, you can get a dot com address for your wordpress.com blog for only $15-20 a year. I’m pretty sure this is what Huma of humarashid.com did. And please, when you get a new blog, don’t spam everyone’s blogs with your new address.

1L: “Okay, so I’ve seen in your fashion post that things can get really petty…are law students really that immature or is it just you?”
A: Let me remind you that I am not Oprah. All of my advice comes with a hefty dose of salt. Wear what makes you feel comfortable. Just do so with the realization that some of your peers are as petty as I am (see here). Think of it like this: you are in professional school. Showing up looking like a hot mess for law school is the equivalent of accusing your coworkers of being immature because you decided to show up at the office in pink, bejeweled crocs. Now, yes, the fact that someone is sitting at the UMN library, enraged that a classmate is wearing flipflops is silly, but I think that flip flops during orientation is more akin to the pink crocs at the office. See Think Like a Woman, Act like a Man.

Female 1L: “If I start blogging will have creepy men hiding in the bushes outside of my apartment?”
A: There will probably be creepy men hiding in the bushes outside of your apartment, but it won’t be because of your blog. Think of online privacy as a bicycle lock. Your average bicycle lock is going to stop the vast majority of bike thieves, but no bike lock can stop that rare, determined bike thief. The same thing is true for stalkers. The rare stalker is going to stalk regardless of how good your pseudonym is, and regardless of how carefully you guard your online presence. Frankly, so much information is available via public directories and information companies (like Lexis), that the rare crazy is not going to be stopped by anything but the Tazer x3 in your purse. So no, don’t post a picture of your apartment with the address and a challenge, but also don’t be afraid to use your real name – because frankly, it’s not a secret. See also: 3 years of hell, and Fresh Thought Soup.

5 Rules for Law School Orientation

July 24, 2009

Man on laptop at cafe by Tim Gouw via Unsplash.

By request, here are my 5 simple rules for law school orientation:

5. Dress appropriately.

How you present yourself¹ during orientation will shape how people think of you for the rest of the semester.

The appropriate style? Business casual — Think Banana Republic rather than yoga pants.

And no, you don’t need to buy designer clothes – the point is that you can look put-together without wearing your church clothes, or looking like a rental car agency manager (no high-water khakis please.)

My experience: There was a girl who wore the same thing throughout orientation: ass-cheek exposing shorts, a red tank top, an oversized hoodie, and her greasy hair in a sloppy bun. She was a super-smart girl, but she looked like she smelled, and was called uncharitable names (like slutty hobo) for the rest of the year.

4. Check the hormones.

This isn’t the first day of college.

Bedding your classmates will come back to haunt you. This is professional school, not Tinder.

3. Check the ego.

It takes people a while to understand that law school is actually a level playing field. Unless you ditched a full ride at Harvard for Nowhere University, you are probably not the smartest kid in your class. So be careful, because the section-mate you are bragging to just might be a PhD or getting a dual degree in Rocket Science.

Also, no one cares how much time you spent reading hornbooks during the summer, how prestigious your undergrad was, or how much money you made in your former job. You are in law school. Save yourself the ego-check and humble yourself before you get to school.

The grades are based on finals, so you don’t get any points for intimidating your classmates during orientation.

My experience: During orientation, the entire 1L class was in an auditorium. Some prestigious lawyer gave us a lecture about his experience and this girl raised her hand, preceded to tell the speaker (and the entire 1L class) about a lengthy book she read on a completely different subject, and asked the lawyer for his thoughts on the book.
The presenter’s mouth said: “Uh, I haven’t read that one.” His face added: “You crazy bitch.”

She was “that girl” for the rest of the semester. (that post is here)

2: Don’t overshare.

Your classmates will get to know you in time. Disclosing things too early will just earn you a reputation as a socially inept.

We don’t need to know about your DUIs, roaring undergraduate drug habits, or thoughts about your weight.

We also don’t need your blog address. We’ll stalk you when we add you on facebook.

1: Hold the hooch.

This happens at every school outside of Utah: after orientation, you will head to a local pub with your section-mates, someone will get crunk and embarrass themselves.

And in law school, no one bothers to stop a social train wreck.

Law students will just stand by and chuckle nervously as the disaster unfolds – and because no one ever says anything, this behavior is repeated throughout the year. Don’t be that guy.

And remember it is not too late to get the essential law school summer reading:

First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You by Ann Demarais and Valerie White
“So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love” by Cal Newport

¹Some schools have formal orientation dress codes, most don’t.

Law School / unsolicited advice

5 summer tips for 0Ls

May 17, 2009

A lot of you 0Ls have graduated and want to get a head start on law school.¹

Not buying the “relax read a novel” advice? Fine.

Here are the top 5 things you can do this summer to prepare for law school:

1. Figure out your purpose

Why are you going to law school?
What do you want to do after law school?

The answer to these questions is extremely important. Law students who have a clearly defined purpose for being in law school are infinitely less anxiety-prone than those who are simply wandering through the halls ala legally blonde.

The guy who doesn’t know why he’s in law school is the same guy who overcompensates in class and alienates his peers – or worse, cries and drinks in his study carrel at night. And yes, there are people who do that…

Law school grades are curved, but the measure of success in law school is how well are you progressing towards your goals – not your neighbor’s goals. And if you’re going to law school simply for money or prestige then you should probably take the GMAT because we really don’t want to read about you on ATL.

Having trouble articulating your purpose? A helpful exercise is to visualize where want to be in 10 years. Where are you working? How do you look? Who is around you? Do you want to work with a lot paper or a lot of people? Court room drama or board room drama? How much free time do you need to be happy?

Then make three lists:

List 1: steps you can take to work towards your goal (ie, networking with tax attorneys, volunteering at the public defender’s office, working towards a judicial clerkship…etc.)
List 2: behaviors that will help you work towards your goal (adequate sleep, taking time to review, work out, etc.)
List 3: behaviors that will detract from your goal. (drugs, drinking, overspending…etc.)

Keep these lists somewhere conspicuous and look them over every day.

2. Upgrade yourself.
I recommend two books.

“First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” by Ann Demarais and Valerie White
“So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love” by Cal Newport

Find one or two people in your life that you look up to and ask them what personality traits you can improve. Yes, this will be completely awkward, but find someone you trust to give you constructive feedback (professor, boss). The benefit to this is worth more than the 10 minutes of awkward.

Also spend some time thinking how other people view you, and your personality.³

Three quick tips:

Don’t forget to smile: There was a girl in my section who was very friendly and very well dressed, but no one could get over how distraught she looked. Seriously, we thought she was going to cry until we realized she always looks like that. I’m sure it was a “I’m concentrating” face, but it was so distracting that it was the first thing people always mentioned about her.
Don’t be a tart: Every law school has a few students who spent all summer in the gym. Although showing off your physique may get you points on Tinder, it doesn’t translate into better grades or job prospects.⁴
Pigpen: The opposite is also true – this is professional school. You can be personable and brilliant but we will never know if we are distracted by your sweatpants and scabbed forearms. Err on the side of looking appropriate. Some good pointers are here.
Also: DO NOT USE THE EXCUSE OF “I CAN’T AFFORD TO BUY NICE CLOTHES.” This is like the people who pay a $zillion for law school tuition, but then won’t put up the extra couple hundred bucks to buy books and study-aids. It’s a relatively minor cost, and if you don’t do it, it will cost you more over the long haul. Remember: Appearing professional matters.

3. Find your joy, and figure out your non-negotiables.
If you aren’t a joyous, centered person before you get to law school then you’re in for three miserable years, if you last that long…

Look back to the lists from tip #1, and also think about the behaviors that do/don’t work for you right now. Do you get enough sleep? Do you exercise enough? Is religion important to you? How about family? Shopping?

Make a list of non-negotiables. These are the really important things that you will schedule law school around. Do you need 8 hours of sleep? Do you need 45 minutes of stairclimber time to fend off that second chin?

Try to put this list into practice this summer. Hint: if you can’t keep up your non-negotiables schedule during the summer, then it’s not going to work for the school year – revise as needed. The purpose of this is keep you centered, not drive you crazy…

4. Start your file.
Sign up for a Google Plus account to save all of the useful tips you come across online. G+ is a great way to save links for later…like in the fall, when you actually need them…

5. Make some money
Are you just sitting around this summer? Think about getting a job. Law school is expensive and loans do not cover everything.

Hint: if you’re moving for law school then a summer job at Target or Ikea is a good way to get discounts for stuff that you have to buy in a few months anyway…

¹ I’ve somehow become a 0L favorite…
² Law school is a wonderful experience, but not the time to “figure yourself out.” What’s what undergrad was for.
³ And I’m not talking about what they think about your shoes, bag, or car. This isn’t high school…
⁴ In fact, you will be shocked by how plain law students are. The hotties are getting MBAs. The law school frump is more likely to be prejudiced against attractive people…

Law School / unsolicited advice

Law School Advice

January 31, 2009

Here are some things I’ve found useful, thought I’d share:

How Book Briefing Saved My Behind

One day, she held up her casebook to point out there was almost no underlining or highlighting. However, in the margins of the book were handwritten notes. She explained that doing full briefs for cases was a waste of time. (Via Law Ingenue)

Life / unsolicited advice

The power of change…

November 26, 2008

Grandmother has a saying:

“Wer den Pfennig nicht ehrt, ist die Mark nicht wert!”

(Who doesn’t value the penny isn’t worth the dollar.)

I didn’t give the phrase much thought until 7th grade, when my mother, (a waitress at the time) bought a $2000 computer for me with the spare change she saved from her tips.

Yesterday was a reiteration of the power of change (No, not the Obama kind…); My spare change bowl was filling up, so I threw the coins in my string backpack and took them to the TCF change counting machine at school.

The total was $86. Cha-ching!

The lesson? Shit adds up. Be it bad loans, lack of sleep, or quarters in a change jar…

Law School / legal humor / on the record / unsolicited advice

OTR: the panel

October 29, 2008

Library books by Glen Noble via Unsplash

In SSG we had a panel of older students that gave advice on exams:

Panelist 1: “Don’t talk about the exam afterwards. Don’t. Seriously. Because you’ll think of all the things you did wrong and feel like CRAP.”

Panelist 2: “You’re kinda in a panic during your first exam and like what the fuck…”

Law School / legal humor / on the record

Words of encouragement,…erm, sort of.

October 24, 2008

Our school has a mandatory 1L lecture series. Today’s lecturers discussed stress and stress related issues:

Speaker 1: “Don’t forget you have a life. Do not use the word “allegedly” when asked if you took out the trash. And do not take your books to Chipotle and read them in line. Have you guys seen that? Yeah? Well it’s sad.”

Speaker 1: “The second year is better. I know you hear it all the time and think “LIAR!” but it’s true. If it wasn’t better then the attrition rate would be 98%. Your second year sucks for a whole different set of reasons.”

Speaker 2: “About 10% of lawyers have alcohol abuse problems. In this room, I’d say that’s the first two rows. Sorry, I’m sure you’re great but you’re drunks. You go to a great school but you’re not that special – you’re not going to buck the statistics.”