Orientation Day 4: Ready for this Jelly

September 4, 2010

Yesterday was the last day of orientation. It was only a half-day and the 1Ls were very grateful.
During the last session with our 1L section, we made sure to drive home the three main rules for law school:

Respect your classmates.
Don’t be crazy.
You’ll be fine.

…and hopefully some of those stick. I think they are ready for this Jelly.

The 1Ls were stuck in lecture sessions for most of the morning, so the orientation leaders just sat around, chatted, and stared at the Mondalelisa, which is the glamor shot of Walter Mondale in the law school entrance.

Mondale always seems to stare right at you, and his smile becomes a sneer after a while.

Creepy.

After orientation I went to work, and ended the night watching Machete with Alesus.

humor / Just Sayin / Law School / on the record

Orientation Day 3: Undermined

September 2, 2010

Focus text in book by Romain Vignes via StockSnap

Today was a slightly shorter day of orientation. The 1Ls are still good troopers, but it was a personally frustrating day for some orientation leaders because we were constantly undermined by presenters:

On homework:

Orientation Leaders: “You’ll get your assignments on Friday, don’t worry about them now.”
10 minutes later:
Professor: “Read pages 1-5, 7-20, 30-36. Read EVERY WORD of the first case. It’s mostly Latin…”

On Professors:

1L: “I read on Rate My Professor that Professor Palsgraff is a horrible person who can’t teach and tortures bunnies. Is that true?!”
Orientation Leaders: “Well, everyone has different learning styles and everyone’s favorite professor is someone else’s least favorite. And although Professor Palsgraff may not be the most energetic speaker, she is at the top of her field, dedicated to her students, and surely only kicks the bunnies who deserve it.”
10 minutes later:
Student Speaker: “Oh and I heard you had Palsgraff for one of your classes! HAH! Lemme tell ya – you won’t learn SQUAT from Palsgraff, she’s a horrible teacher and wrings bunnies’ necks till the light leaves their eyes…”

blackberry pictures / dogs / humor / Law School / Life / Minneapolis-St. Paul / pictures / Take Three / Uptown Apartment

Orientation Day 2: The Marathon

September 1, 2010

The second day of orientation was epic. The 1Ls shuffled in at 8am, and left for the bar across the street around 5.

One of the most important things that happened today was the introduction to legal writing. Look at all those gleaming packets of knowledge:

Snazzy.

While the 1Ls were in hours (and hours) of sessions, I worked on less glamorous projects like stacking chairs:

blackberry pictures / Law School / Uptown Apartment

Orientation begins

August 31, 2010

The first day of orientation was long. We worked from about 7am to 6pm.

Orientation leaders are flight attendants with manual labor duties: we smile, answer questions, give directions, mingle, smile some more, answer more questions, give peppy speeches, and haul tables and chairs throughout the law school.

At least the 1Ls aren’t crazy this year, so there were no Steven Slater moments so far.

I started the day as a greeter, and several of my 1L twitter followers and blog readers introduced themselves – which is always great when they don’t pelt me with oranges.

Although I don’t really know what the etiquette is for those conversations:

2L Summer Summaries / blackberry pictures / Just Sayin / Law School / unsolicited advice

Best Summer Ever Week 14: This is the end.

August 29, 2010

I am sprawled on the bathroom floor. Blood is everywhere.

The “no mess” mouse trap that I bought is in fact, very messy. Sure, I cannot see the dead mouse in the trap’s chamber, but the trap is swimming in a pool of blood.

The trap is strategically placed under my bath tub, so I have to crawl on the floor to wipe up the pool of stinky mouse blood. Ick.

Cleaning was the theme of the week. My apartment got the complete pre-semester scrub. I changed the vase water, washed sheets and clothes, and shampooed the carpets.

I also scrubbed my kitchen, replaced tiles, and finally hauled in the tumblers that collected in my trunk during the semester:

humor / Just Sayin / Law School / pictures / unsolicited advice

Advice for the 0Ls

June 22, 2010

The acceptance letters are out and the 0Ls are announcing themselves. Hi.

As a crusty rising 3L, I don’t blog about school much anymore. Law school lost its new car smell about a year ago. The pedals stick, and the engine leaks.

But I remember how useful law student blogs were to me during the summer before law school, so I feel obligated to throw some unsolicited advice out into the interweb. Grab your salt, and guard your loins.

And don’t worry. I’ll be concise. Here are 5 points:

1. Reconsider going to law school.

Now, when I tell an accepted law student to read Philalawyer’s letter, I get the same response: “Oh, well, gee, that sounds TERRIBLE! But well, it’ll be different for me.”

I have three things to say to that:

You may be smart, but you are an idiot.
You are the equivalent of the 18 year olds signing up for the military during a war, many of whom turn out not to be bulletproof.
You could do worse.

Just like joining the military is preferable to say, doing meth, law school is also not a terrible mistake for most people. It may be a waste of three years of your life and a lot of money, but again, it’s not meth. You’ll be fine. Maybe.

So, for those of you soldiering on,

2. Summer reading

If you only read one thing, then read “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” by Ann Demarais and Valerie White.

The most jarring thing about law school is the amount of unchecked douchebaggery going around. It’s absolutely shocking and needs to stop.

I am pretty sure that classroom etiquette sessions are part of my school’s orientation schedule next year, but the vast majority if schools don’t offer these sessions, so it is your duty not to be “that student” during orientation.

Also visit student blogs and go through the archives. Law student blogs are best orientation you can get.

Some of the classic law student blogs include: But No Thanks, Butterflyfish, and New Kid on the Hallway. But check the rest of the blogs linked on the left side of the page, and those linked at Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground.

1L summer / 2L Fall

Whew

September 4, 2009

The now-1Ls are fully oriented. I hope.

The past few days consisted of constant information sessions, Q&As, herding, “mingling” and moving furniture for 220 people.

Oh, and plenty of free food and coffee.

I am tired and amused, which isn’t a terrible way to start 2L year. Now excuse me while run off to the office…

Law School / unsolicited advice

How to dress for law school orientation

July 28, 2009

I have been asked to clarify my advice on dressing for orientation.

Reasonable people can disagree on what specific clothes are appropriate, but the idea is that you should look put together and comfortable.

Your clothes should not be distracting, and inappropriate clothes are distracting.

On one message board, a NYU student said that she wore shorts and flipflops to orientation.

And well, while that may be acceptable at some schools, I would like to reiterate my point in plainer language: although you are unlikely to get “into trouble” for wearing flip-flops to orientation, it is not a good idea to wear flipflops unless you receive an email or letter from your school that says “wear flipflops.”

In other words? Ladies, it will not kill you to look cute during orientation.

You don’t have to show up to orientation in stilettos, sporting a bucci bag, and doing the Halle Berry, but save the frump for finals.

It’s professional school, not the beach.¹

Now, NYU Law may have people hiking around the city – but that’s atypical for law school.

At UMinnesota, they take the “class picture” during orientation. It’s a picture that gets blown up and put on a wall – and yes, the people wearing khakis and the Jesus-sandals look silly.

But seriously.

Show up in flipflops.

It’s fine.

Just remember that you knew better when you find yourself standing next to this girl.

Again, the idea is to look put-together, and not messy, stuffy, or awkward.

¹And while I’m on my bitchy gay rant: no chipped nails please.

Extra Reading: I recommend “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” for a scientific perspective on how we come across to others. I wish that I had read this book much earlier in life.

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0L / Law School / unsolicited advice

5 Rules for Law School Orientation

July 24, 2009

Man on laptop at cafe by Tim Gouw via Unsplash.

By request, here are my 5 simple rules for law school orientation:

5. Dress appropriately.

How you present yourself¹ during orientation will shape how people think of you for the rest of the semester.

The appropriate style? Business casual — Think Banana Republic rather than yoga pants.

And no, you don’t need to buy designer clothes – the point is that you can look put-together without wearing your church clothes, or looking like a rental car agency manager (no high-water khakis please.)

My experience: There was a girl who wore the same thing throughout orientation: ass-cheek exposing shorts, a red tank top, an oversized hoodie, and her greasy hair in a sloppy bun. She was a super-smart girl, but she looked like she smelled, and was called uncharitable names (like slutty hobo) for the rest of the year.

4. Check the hormones.

This isn’t the first day of college.

Bedding your classmates will come back to haunt you. This is professional school, not Tinder.

3. Check the ego.

It takes people a while to understand that law school is actually a level playing field. Unless you ditched a full ride at Harvard for Nowhere University, you are probably not the smartest kid in your class. So be careful, because the section-mate you are bragging to just might be a PhD or getting a dual degree in Rocket Science.

Also, no one cares how much time you spent reading hornbooks during the summer, how prestigious your undergrad was, or how much money you made in your former job. You are in law school. Save yourself the ego-check and humble yourself before you get to school.

The grades are based on finals, so you don’t get any points for intimidating your classmates during orientation.

My experience: During orientation, the entire 1L class was in an auditorium. Some prestigious lawyer gave us a lecture about his experience and this girl raised her hand, preceded to tell the speaker (and the entire 1L class) about a lengthy book she read on a completely different subject, and asked the lawyer for his thoughts on the book.
The presenter’s mouth said: “Uh, I haven’t read that one.” His face added: “You crazy bitch.”

She was “that girl” for the rest of the semester. (that post is here)

2: Don’t overshare.

Your classmates will get to know you in time. Disclosing things too early will just earn you a reputation as a socially inept.

We don’t need to know about your DUIs, roaring undergraduate drug habits, or thoughts about your weight.

We also don’t need your blog address. We’ll stalk you when we add you on facebook.

1: Hold the hooch.

This happens at every school outside of Utah: after orientation, you will head to a local pub with your section-mates, someone will get crunk and embarrass themselves.

And in law school, no one bothers to stop a social train wreck.

Law students will just stand by and chuckle nervously as the disaster unfolds – and because no one ever says anything, this behavior is repeated throughout the year. Don’t be that guy.

And remember it is not too late to get the essential law school summer reading:

First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You by Ann Demarais and Valerie White
“So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love” by Cal Newport

¹Some schools have formal orientation dress codes, most don’t.

Law School – 1L

Orientation, days 2 & 3

August 30, 2008

Hark, orientation is over.

Four years ago, during orientation for undergrad I was told, “You’ll never meet a more interesting and diverse group of people than in college.” This was a lie.

In undergrad diversity was superficially measured by skin color and nationality. The range of experience and talent at law school is far greater than in college. A big chunk of the students in my section are changing careers, have traveled extensively, are married with young children, ie, developed passions and ambitions and done something interesting with their lives.

The conversation at orientation’s social events was seldom dry.

As one of the least experienced, fresh-from-undergrad kids, I at least have the grace of coming from somewhere exotic. But after answering a few Miami questions and getting yet another ominous description of a Minnesota winter, I tend to do more listening.

During orientation day #2 we had breakfast with the section, a few lectures, and then a student activities fair. Yes. We had Canefest: The law school version.

And, like a freshman at UMiami’s Canfest, I signed up for just about everything. My inbox might regret that decision. We’ll see.

I was also on black watch for day 2 of orientation – after day 1, one of my housemates said, “Yeah, you’re the only black guy in our class.”
Me: “Really?”
Housemate #2: “How do you not notice that you’re the only black guy in your section?”
Me: “I don’t sit down and do a headcount. I don’t think like that.
Housemate #1: “Well, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one in the entire class.”
Me: “How in the world…there are like 200+ of us. I’ll check tomorrow. I’m on blackwatch.”
And sure enough, when the entire class assembled in Lockhart Hall, I realized that I’m the only black person in the class. Well – there’s one guy who may or may not be another halfling like me. I’m not sure. Who knows, we may have a few Mariah’s hiding in the class too, but I doubt it.

At the activities fair I went to the Black Law Students table. I met one of the members and said, “Um, yeah. I think I’m it for the class.” He agreed and welcomed me to the club.

On the bright side I’ll probably have an e-board position next year!

And the law school is not devoid of racial minorities. There are several Hispanics, Asian, and East-Indian students and probably others that I haven’t run into yet. The experiences and ideas of my classmates are more valuable than their shade anyway (although 0.5% black student percentage is pretty weak for a top 25 law school.)

Oh, and there was another person signed up on the Black Law Students enrollment sheet. Turns out he’s from Miami but attended the University of Florida. At least I’m not the only Miamian in the class. 305, DJ Khaled and all that jazz. We are global aren’t we?

After the activities fair we had information sessions which were important, but at varying degrees of interest. We then had a section dinner at a local restaurant.

Friday began with a library tour, then a case briefing session. There was then this awkward hour where some people were getting their books and lockers, and those of us who had already done that had nothing to do.

During that sort-of break, Stella (a housemate) and I went to the other bank to the Health Services department to figure out how to cancel our student health insurance. (UMN, like most schools, automatically bills health insurance to all students.) I also picked up some allergy meds at the pharmacy since the generic whatever-they-are-called from Target weren’t working.

We then ran errands at the student union and were about two minutes late to the, DUM DUM DUM Laptop session!

And the law school knows what it’s doing. They waited until the last possible minute to give us those student laptops because the second we got laptops the entire class tuned out.

One thing I was not happy about was that the computer people HID windows calendar. Windows calendar is Vista’s version of iCal and XP’s Outlook calendar program.

I live by Windows calendar.

So I was a bit worried when it wasn’t on the start menu, or available through search…or on the installed programs list… Wtf eh?!? It took one of the computer tech people 10 minutes to find it on my laptop. Hmf.

But apparently I’m the only person in my section who is dependent on Windows Calendar so it was just my problem… dork moment? Maybe.

Afterwards about 8 of us went to Chipotle, and then I went home. I was thoroughly orientated and I wanted to try out the school gym – which is huge but slightly awkward… More on that later because this is way too long.

Law School – 1L

Orientation day 1

August 28, 2008

I’ve arrived. Today was the first day of orientation. I met my section of about 50 people, listened to a lot of entertaining speeches, and sat through three hours of FAQ.

My section is an interesting mix of students. I think there are more students with undergraduate degrees from BYU than U Minnesota in my section.

Apparently U Minnesota recruits in Utah. Hm. I think we had a few Creighton university grads as well.

My orientation leaders are fun, but there was so much FAQ-time that the questions began to focus on things that we don’t need to worry about, like OCI, 3rd year, etc.

And yes, we did have that girl, the embarrassing gunner.

All of the sections were together in a huge room for the main speeches. The keynote speaker gave a great speech and fielded questions. Most of the questions were relevant and graciously answered.

Then book girl raised her hand.
“Um, yeah, I read this book by so and so, and while you had valid points the book focused on this and that, the book’s author focused on this and disagreed with you…”
She went on for a few minutes about this book.
Book girl: “So did you read the book? And what is your opinion?”
The keynote speaker looked at her, like wtf, and told her that he hadn’t read the book, and didn’t really care for the author.

Yikes.

People talked about “book girl” for the rest of the day. I’m glad I didn’t see her face. I don’t want to have that horrible impression of her.

I was also almost peer pressured into getting chicken at the BBQ, but that is another story.

Tonight: DNC and political debate with the housemates. Orientation day II is tomorrow. Vöt!

Today isn’t your day

August 26, 2008

Today was a marathon, and not my housemate’s day.

A housemate and I wanted to get four things done today: buy books, get a locker, activate our student IDs for the law library, and a buy student bus pass.

Simple right?

Well, the library cards are only activated at orientation, so that taken off the agenda.

I was able to get books, a locker, and my bus pass. No problem.

My housemate wasn’t so lucky – she tried to charge the books ($780!) to her student account, and her student ID was declined.
Bookstore clerk: “The computer says you’re not registered.”
Hm. Orientation is Wednesday. All of the other 1L’s are registered… That’s a problem.

So we go to the law admissions office and they send us to the law school registrar. The registrar tells my housemate she is registered, but that she must have a hold on her record.

Apparently international students have a hold on their records until they attend a special orientation.

So we are sent to the international admissions office. We wait and are eventually told, “Hm. That shouldn’t be a problem, but we put a temporary release on your stop. Go to the student card office to see if it worked.”

On the way to student card office we stop at the bank because my housemate’s name is spelled wrong on her debit card. The nice cashier orders a new debit card and tells my housemate that she can use her misprinted card until the new one arrives. Great. Peace out.

We walk across the river to the student card office, wait in a 15 person line, and are told by a woman who shouts everything TO GO TO THE STUDENT SERVICES OFFICE.

Thanks. We get to the STUDENT SERVICES OFFICE, take a number, wait. The student assisting us smirks and tells my housemate that she, in fact, isn’t registered.

My housemate calls the law school like “wtf mate?” and the law school registrar tells her that she was supposed to call them and inform them that the stop was removed.
My housemate: “But doesn’t your computer system tell you that my stop was removed?”
The registrar: “Yes, but you’re supposed to call us to tell us it was removed. Call us back in 15 minutes.”
Fine.

So my housemate decides to use her debit card to pay for the books. Who needs a student account anyway!? So we cross the river again, go to the law school bookstore, grab all of the books again, and she pays with her card.

Which doesn’t work.

Crap.
My housemate: “OH! I forgot to activate it.”
She goes outside and calls the activation number.
Electronic voice on phone: “Your card is invalid. You suck at life. Goodbye.”
So we leave the books at the bookstore again and go back to the bank.
“Nice” teller: “Oh, I accidentally deactivated your card. Oops.”
The Nice-yet-newly-annoying teller hands back to the now-useless card, and we go to the student services office next door to see if my housemate is finally registered. Yes. She is. Yay.
Student Services lady: But your registration isn’t going to show up for the bookstore for 24-hours. So you can’t get your books today. Hah. Sucks.
Crap.

So housemate decides she’s going to pay cash. You can’t mess up cash. She goes back to the nice-yet-incompetent bank teller and asks for $800.
Teller: “Trying to buy books?”
Housemate: “Yep.”
Teller: “You know you can charge it to your student account right?”
Housemate: “Well, actually, I can’t. I just registered today.”
Teller: “Oh, and your card doesn’t work. Sucks. Well, here’s the cash, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7, and 800! Have a great day!”
So we return to the bookstore, get the books for a THIRD time, and my housemate pays drug dealer style, in crisp $100 bills. Cash money!

She then goes upstairs, gets a locker, and we go downstairs to shove the heavy books into said locker.

But course the combo doesn’t work. Housemate is two seconds from wigging out. We both try 10 times and then housemate storms upstairs and gets a new locker, which works.

Our entire adventure took about three hours.

We were both hungry so we walked downtown to Taco Bell. At Taco Bell my housemate checked her receipt from the bank and said, “Crap!”
Me: “What happened now?”
Housemate: “The teller gave me $800 but the receipt said she debited $900.”
Me: “Hah. How are you going to prove that she didn’t give you the extra $100?”
Housemate: “My word is going to have to do because this is some bullshit.”
We finish the Bell, bus back to campus, and my housemate goes back to the now-thoroughy-annoying teller, who thankfully remembered her. The teller was nice and apologetic because this was her second fuckup with one customer in a single day. They ended up giving my housemate the extra $100 instead of crediting it to her account.

We then went to the undergrad bookstore, (across the Mississippi river again) and raided it. We both bought speakers, U of M clothes, and I bought a lot of art supplies. A room opened up in the house so I no longer have a roommate. I’m using the extra space as art studio space. Har.

My housemate’s bad luck didn’t end at school. We went to dinner with two other housemates at the local pan-Asian restaurant and they forgot to enter her order.

So the three of us (dudes) politely waited for her food to come.
Housemate: “Cmon guys, EAT! Your food is getting cold.”
We smiled politely and ignored the request. Pfft. We aren’t going to be rude and chow when the only girl at the table is foodless.

After 10 minutes she started eating rice so we would eat our food.

Her meal came about 5 minutes later.

Heh. Today just wasn’t her day but at least she went through the circus today, and not during orientation.

Sophomore Year

UMiami freshmen come, and drink

August 21, 2005

So the residents have finally come and I can honestly say that they are all cool. Not one asshole! Not one! I was surprised because in training they make you think you’re going to have a floor full of Bebe’s kids who do nothing but have keg parties, cut themselves, and talk about suicide. Well, not quite that bad, but you get the idea.

Someone in the other tower burnt popcorn at like, 2am. The fire alarm lights were flashing on our hall but I was asleep. One of my guys actually woke me up and then we all started knocking on doors getting everyone off the floor. Everyone was real cool about it. Again, in training we watched a video about this RA who was burned alive knocking on doors by herself because none of her residents would come out and evacuate. But we were all downstairs within like 2-3 minutes. Awesome again. There are some real interesting characters on my floor. No one’s creepy, – I expected to have at least two creepy guys, and no one is an obvious druggy.

I also had duty this weekend – ugh. How do freshmen get beer so quickly? We wrote up so many people it was ridiculous. Heard some stupid excuses too.

The top 5 stupidest underage drinking excuses of the weekend:

#5 “I don’t go here. Erm, yeah I do. Ye-no, I’m 21. I’m a junior… my student ID? I don’t know it. I don’t go here. Or wait, yeah I do. But I’m 20, I mean 21, and leaving. Bye.”

#4 “I tried to find a place off campus to drink but couldn’t!”

#3 “I like having my coke in plastic cups and shot glasses…”

#2 “…we only had a little bit a beer.”

And #1 “No one told me the rules.”

Hmmf. Yeah, whatever. It’s not the massive problem that they said it was going to be though. I think once the brunt of the class work comes along the partying will die down.

My next duty weekend? Halloween. Yes, I know – shut up.

Oh, and I’ve reintroduced myself to that thing, you know, the gym. I’ve lost 10 pounds since I moved to campus. Rockt. I’m sure most of it was muscle mass and water weight… dehydration is fun for the whole family (and yes it’s like 85 and I’m drinking coffee).

I haven’t had time to read journals. Sorry. One noteworthy entry from another journal is from thatbitch.com – “something happened last weekend…something pre-eminent and noteworthy. serena and I crossed a very important milestone. yay the kind of milestone that is indeed a true test of what kind of parent you may be for the rest of your life. my child…my angelcake…my mild mannered sweet honeypot…wigged the FUCK OUT in public…” (read it)

Floor meetings and programming tonight… class tomorrow… aie. I need to pick up writing again. Ladidida.

Sophomore Year

Resident Assistant training at the University of Miami continued

August 14, 2005

I’ve been so busy lately. I’ve been in RA training for the past couple of weeks and I’m a bit tired. The day I moved on campus I saw a car accident. This guy was semi racing me, ran a light, and crashed into a van. No one was hurt. Just a lady in shock and five screaming kids.

This weekend we had a RA retreat in Marco Island…basically a big hotel’s penthouse by the beach. Team builders and bonding, lectures, programming, training, meeting,…etc.

Oh, and when we were driving back the luggage compartment of the bus busted open launching our luggage and food into the road. Bejesus.

My days have been spent doing team builders and attending training sessions and afterwards working on first my room, and now since that’s done, my floor.

Residents start coming in this weekend I think. I still have so much to do… this retreat thing drove me nuts because I couldn’t work on my hall…but I now can so I will… hah!

Sophomore Year

Resident Assistant training at the University of Miami

August 7, 2005

RA training is amazing… but there’s so much work, but this is awesome.

Simply awesome – the resident halls staff, my bosses, resident masters, and other RAs are all really cool. The awkwardness is slowly going away for us new RAs as we are getting to know everyone else – I’m probably the least social because I’m always either working on my room/floor or thinking about it,… …or simply exhausted. Naja.

Oh, and my room… let’s just say my beat is correct. Pictures Sunday.