The nice part about having a big dog during winter is that he doesn’t get cold and pissy like the smaller dogs.
The annoying part about having a big dog during winter is that he doesn’t get cold and pissy like the smaller dogs so the dog walk isn’t shorter just because the wind chill is -20.
I knew to worry two days ago when I read the sample multiple choice question for the exam:
In State v. Hennepin County, the majority opinion declined to address the BFOQ issue raised by Justice Coyne’s dissenting opinion because:
The multiple choice questions were nitpicky. That’s the only polite description. It was worse than the tax exam. It felt like they paid someone to stand inside the exam room and deliver a nice, firm, back-handed bitchslap to us while screaming, “You thought this class was easy huh?! WRONG!”
Anyhoot, another one down… now on to Real Estate law…
I was scrubbing three inches of snow off my car at 5:30am and arrived at school by 6.
After two hours of excitement and trying to make sense of § 1031 exchanges, I went to the exam room with a pile of books and tabbed notes. I didn’t feel the least bit ridiculous carrying so much crap because these are the tools of comfort. If the professor says open note, then I will bring my notes on the not-so-off chance that I will have to look up the answer to an obscure question.
The exam consisted of multiple choice and short answer. The multiple choice questions were pretty straightforward and not as hard as the questions on the practice exam. No odd-color questions besides the 1031 essay question.
The problem I had with studying the § 1031 material is that the numbers in Professor A’s examples were off…but, tax being OVER, this is all blissfully irrelevant until next semester’s corporate tax class.
1 down. Four to go. Now, off to prepare for exam #2: Employment law.
Before recapping the past few weeks, I offer my stressed-out 1L readers a metaphor. No, this isn’t about liability looming in the air or about tree-fruit. This is a metaphor about law school:
“Finals are like the last drop on a rollercoaster ride.”
Brilliant, no? No? Okay, let me explain…
A good rollercoaster ride is taxing and scary. Halfway through, everyone questions why they decided to get on the ride in the first place. It wouldn’t be a good rollercoaster if the ride was pleasant.
Pleasantness is for those Jennifer-Aniston lovers over there on the teacup ride. You waited in the ungodly long line for the rollercoaster because you are hardcore, and this is how you roll.
Right now, I am at the peak of the final drop of the rollercoaster. The view is great, but the bullshit fun is about to start. What’s the worst that can happen?
Erm… Okay. Barring some Final Destination disaster (or a stray bullet) the worst that can happen is a C, maybe a C minus.
And that is why law school finals are like the last drop on a rollercoaster. Finals entail stress and work, but the GPA concerns are about as serious as the rollercoaster rider worried about yarking up a hotdog. Yes, it’s a real concern – C’s and puke suck – but worrying about law school finals is still very charmed position to be in.
You guessed it, I’m pulling the “some children are starving” card:
Or the laid-off-worker-with-family card, or the foreclosure card, or the mental health card… the point is that some people have real problems, and no, sorry, law school finals do not qualify. The worst that can happen is a bad grade, and the world will not end with a C. Trust me. (And even if you aim to be an associate at a posh firm, remember they get fired too.)
Whether I am making videos about finals, throwing shade in the library, or shaking because I have just studied for 13 hours straight, I always remember that finals stress is about as serious (and non-serious) as puking hotdogs after a rollercoaster ride. I’m sure I’ll find a mop.
So the review of the past few weeks?
That’s all!
On Thursday I had a review session for Real Estate law, and needed to print notes. I went to the law school library to print, and I was shocked by the wave of irritation that came over me.
The psst, psst, whispers. Girl on phone. Whooping cough boy…
I was not there to study – I just wanted to print – but within 5 minutes I was tense, twitchy, and annoyed.
I can study in cafes, undergrad libraries, public libraries, and at home with a 100lb dog sleeping on me, but somehow the law school library irritates the hell out of me.
I think it is the reminder of all the annoying people I spent the past semester with. Irrelevant question boy, petty gossip girl, Mr. mouth-odor, Mrs. body-odor, Facebook Scrabble boy, streaming-video-in-class girl… the smug skunk…
The little house of horrors was all here, and I needed to get out, immediately. You can find me at Dunn Brothers, or maybe Wilde Roast…
I start reviewing my tax law notes out loud and Harley reacts like any non-law student:
I threw my groceries into my apartment, snatched my caretaker’s snow shovel from downstairs, and then ran outside to help excise the jeep.
The African couple in the jeep was screaming at each other and questioning their decision to move to America. We made progress on their car when a plumbing company’s van got stuck on the other side of the street.
Chaos ensued. Snow and smoke flew from the stalled vehicles. The Mexican plumbers cursed in Spanish. The Africans cursed in heavily accented English. A traffic jam developed.
Me: “There are stalled cars on both sides of my street. Each car is blocking an alley entrance and a traffic jam is building.”
311 operator: “Okay, so?”
Me: “Uh, well, can you send a tow truck or a plow truck to help? The cars are causing a traffic jam…”
311 operator: “I can send traffic control to give them a ticket.”
Me: “Well, that’s not going to help anyone. And traffic control just drove by and didn’t even stop to help.”
311 operator: “Sir, there’s a snow storm going on. We are busy dealing with real accidents and real emergencies. I can send someone out to give them a ticket, and that’s it. What is the car’s license plate number?”
Me: “Nevermind.”
Click.
People came out of apartments and cars to help push and shovel. Even the Africans briefly stopped worrying about their own car to help push the van.
No progress was happening with the van. Then, suddenly the van lurched backwards and looked like it was going to T-bone the African’s car. There was screaming, but the van managed to stop 2 inches from the driver’s door. The van then slid back across the street and promptly got restuck.
The van driver ran to a nearby apartment building and summoned a small troupe of Mexicans to help him push the van. I then helped the Africans shovel around their car and we eventually got them unstuck.
Between the Mexicans and the other drivers, we had a small mob of people to help excise the van. The van driver was so happy when we freed his van, that he passed around $5 bills to the crowd.
Score!
NPR said that the snow storm would worsen Wednesday. They used the term “blinding snow” so I figured that I had to go into work yesterday afternoon to avoid the impending whiteout.
I rethought the wisdom of going to work while crossing the Mendota bridge. The snow clung to my windshield and a semi-truck tailgated me Jeepers Creepers-style. I was surely going to die there on that bridge. Who was going to walk Harley?
I made it to work alive and worked for 10 hours.
I considered leaving around 7pm because the building felt abandoned and the snow had picked up – I felt like the lone beachgoer who didn’t get the memo about the typhoon.
After a gchat consultation with a classmate, I decided to stick it out until midnight, and I am glad that I did.
I was shocked by how bright it was outside of the office. A team of caterpillar plow trucks had cleared a pathway to my car, and one of the drivers lit up my car as I defrosted and scraped the windows.
The roads in Eagan were semi-plowed, and the speeding drivers of the afternoon had vanished to the ER.
I made it home before 1am. The next task was walking the much-neglected dog. I put on my gear: snowboots, face mask, 2 pairs of long johns, gloves… and then took Harley outside looking like a Chechen sniper.
Unlike the bitching I got earlier this semester, the dog LOVED the deep snow! He was so excited that I had to take him off the leash because he kept dragging me through the snow as if he was on an audition to become Santa’s next reindeer.
I took Harley to the park this morning so he could continue his frolicking. Pictures are here.
It’s 8:23am and 17 degrees.
I was supposed to leave for my last tax law class at 8:20am, but I am still on my street, attempting to start my frozen car.
The car starts.
It’s time to do a 3-point turn.
I move the car into the street and my brakes fail. All I can do is clutch the steering wheel and give a pathetic look as my car slowly slides into the side of the car across the street.
Luckily, my car is sliding SO slowly that I don’t leave any dents or set off any alarms. I did a quick check to see if anyone saw the hot messitude and then booked it to class.
Professor A: “I think, when you look back on this semester, and particularly this class, you will remember that this is the first class you had at 8 in the morning…
…and now, the last day of class is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor! President Roosevelt said that this is “the day that will live in infamy” and I don’t know if that pertains to this class or the exam…but uh, I decided to start the day by giving you something. So here are some chocolates!”
Professor A ended class with a longer, prepared speech. And that was it. My tax class was over. Tax was definitely my favorite class this semester, probably because it was the most challenging. (And yes, I was a CivPro buff 1L year as well…)
The final is in exactly a week. Heavenly…
Professor E: “Thank you for a great semester. Even from the first day you’ve been great, which is unusual…”
Professor E then darted out of the room as we clapped, which was awkward, but as a 2L I have grown to expect, accept, and embrace the awkwardness that is law school.
It’s like being in a Dilbert Comic strip with heavy books and beavers instead of cats.
I checked weather.com this morning and let’s just say the “winter storm warning” is in all caps and the word blizzard was mentioned. Maybe we are getting another Snowmageddon?
Good news is that the bullshit storm starts TOMORROW, so I have one day of non-weather-chaos.
So I was very surprised when we ran into a large, yippie dog during the morning walk.
We were by a busy street, but the other dog was off leash and the owner was wearing flipflops, in the snow.
The yippie dog and Harley did the obligatory sniff down.
Harley was over the dog after a few minutes and wanted to move on, but the dog kept bouncing around him. We couldn’t go because the dog blocked Harley’s path, wanting to play. The owner, in his flipflop-ness, was too cold to move from the side of the road, and yippie was not listening to him.
Suddenly Harley ROARED! It was the dog equivalent of an exasperated scream. The message was very clear: BACK UP OFF ME!
He has never done that before so I was shocked and terribly, terribly amused.
The other dog was freaked out, his owner was visibly worried, and I was choking with laughter.
My dog is awesome.
Here are pictures of East Little Havana and the Biscayne Bay area.
I think Christmas decorations look out of place in Little Havana. Christmas is a winter holiday and doesn’t mesh well with palms, parrots, and reggaeton.
The last picture is of the ridiculous after-Christmas line at Ross in downtown Miami.
I spent most of the day with the tax outline.
Finals preparation comes with a sense of accomplishment that is absent from everyday class reading. I love the periodic realization that a topic confusing in class suddenly makes sense! It’s like:
My tax preparation is an advent calendar of these small victories.1
I spent the majority of the semester lost and overwhelmed with information and expected not to remember anything from the beginning of the semester. But it turns out that the topics built on each other, so the early material was ingrained in me throughout the semester. Glensaw Glass, Old Colony Trust, Hickman, … I get it, I think. Maybe. We’ll see…
I also spent some time at work today. During a break, I had a phone conversation with the boyfriend. I think he understands that the next 17 days determine my grades for the semester and that I’ll shower when it’s over.2
But until then, I am in that unapologetic, self-involved, hermit mode called “law student during finals.”
The boyfriend claims to understand and says he’s supportive, but I suspect he’s thinking: “Crap. I’m dating a hunchback.”
That’s actually a reference to Transylmania, a slapstick horror comedy we saw last night. The movie has a huge cast of characters, including a hot Romanian girl who seduces a guy online, but neglects to tell him about her hideous, veiny, hunchback.
That sums up the situation.
The neglect has an end date (Dec. 22nd!) and I’m sure everything’s gonna be alright.
Harley’s face sums up his feelings about Conlaw:
Amber does not appreciate the fashion sense of one of her classmates, Zeb.
Zeb is a 2L at Amber’s law school and is about my weight – not obese, but too big to wear skinny pants and man leggings.
Amber: “So I’ve seen his ridiculous snow boots and I’ve seen the skinny pants. But what amazes me is that I’ve never seen Zeb repeat an outfit! So he has a huge closet full of clothes and EVERY SINGLE PIECE is ill-fitting and inappropriate.”
See also:
2 large pizzas for $20. It was a great deal.
At 2 slices per meal, that meant I was buying ten, easily microwavable $2 meals. Holler! …or not – I have never felt sicker in the past few days.
This week of unpleasantness started on Monday, when I bought a McFlurry. I have been drinking lactose free milk because it keeps longer, and I don’t know if one loses lactose tolerance or what is going on…but that McFlurry did not sit well.
So, fresh off my McFlurry queasiness, I decide to order these pizzas, and it was like going from Afghanistan to Iraq.
In addition to my minimal lactose intake, I also have a small wheat intake. I have not bought breads, chips, crackers, or cereal lately because I find that these turn me into a compulsive eater – where’d those Pringles go? So I don’t know if it’s the lack grease and wheat in my diet or just plain old nasty Pizza Hut…but the pizza is a disaster and needs to go.
That pizza has put me through such hell that I would burn it in the parking lot if there was any way to convince the cops that I wasn’t a law student who snapped. I am also not giving the pizza to Harley, because I guarantee I’ll have to clean up the aftermath in the kennel tomorrow.
So I am chucking the pizza, and officially avoiding lactose and wheat.
Hunger kicked in during the middle of Jack’s answer in Employment Law:
Jack: “I think it’s reasonable because the employee’s actions don’t show wonton disregard… wonton? Wanton?”
Professor I: “Wanton. Wonton is the Chinese restaurant.”
Jack: “It’s almost lunch time!”
More from Employment Law:
When I first moved to Miami, I lived on the border of the Allapattah neighborhood. Most of the pictures below are from the neighborhood’s fashion district, 20th street, or Bootleg Boulevard, where you can find quality stores like Hyundai and D’or fashions.
The pictures are from last winter break, when my mother and I went on an epic quest to find a Bucci bag. We finally opted for a Kenneth Cole briefcase from the Dolphin Mall. Little did we know that Kenneth Cole bags are known for promptly falling apart.
I now rock a frumpy (but sturdier) Tumi. But I had a very nice briefcase for second semester of 1L year.
RSS/Facebook readers: click here if you cannot see the gallery, or if the images do not link to larger files.
I was exhausted after school today, so Harley and I took a nap after the afternoon walk.
I woke up to snoring around 7:30pm. I forgot that Harley was the one sleeping next to me, so when I turned to tell Joel that he was snoring too loudly, I was greeted by a smiling bullmastiff mug, which promptly blew snot all over my face. Bleh.
Harley and I walked around Lake of the Isles tonight.
Some of the mansions around the lake have gaudy holiday displays that have beautiful reflections on the lake. The walk was unusual because it was cloudless and oddly quiet due to the lack of screaming children and intense middle-aged runners. The lake surface was still except for when we were approached by a flock of shadowed geese that glided towards us like a little army of Loch ness monsters.
Harley saw the geese and did his imposing, big-dog “Imma eat all y’all” stance.
The geese said “nevermind” and floated back into the darkness.
After the walk, I sat down and finished the reading for tomorrow. I always do my tax law reading first. Tax is typically the longest and most difficult assignment I have – and it makes all of the other assignments read like James Patterson novels minus the dramatic cliffhangers.
Tomorrow’s lunch period needs to be ultra productive because I am going to try to make it to Trivia night in St. Paul. Our team is called “Beauty and the Beasts” and we came in second place last week despite only having three people:
We’ll see how we do tomorrow.
