Jill’s answer in Employment law was a little too thorough:
Professor I: “Uh, well,…you just demolished my next three questions…so, uh, good job!”
Not deterred, Professor E then asked the questions anyway and made Jill repeat her answers.
Jill’s answer in Employment law was a little too thorough:
Professor I: “Uh, well,…you just demolished my next three questions…so, uh, good job!”
Not deterred, Professor E then asked the questions anyway and made Jill repeat her answers.
I have two new posts over at The Shark:
No Barbri girls in Wisconsin: my take on my neighbor’s exemption from the bar. (Read it here)
And,
Pizzas & The Crucifix: the saga of Ave Maria law school. (Read it here)
I’m studying at Wilde Roast today.
I walked up to the Barista to order:
Me: “May I have a large coffee for here?”
Barista: “Sure. Is this something to take the edge off or sharpen up?”
I point to the 10-inch stack of books at my table – Conflicts, Environmental Law, Tax Law, and Taxation statutes.
Me: “To sharpen up. I have reading to do.”
Barista: “Yikes! Are you a law student or something?”
Me: “Actually, I am.”
The most important lesson I learned as a history and English major in undergrad is not to be afraid of large books. It’ll take some hours, but if can manage to wade through Huxley, Joyce, and lengthy treatises on Stalinism then anything is possible.
The estate tax expires in 2010.
Professor A: “Next year is the year to throw momma from the train!”
Pretend to be interested:
Professor A: “Did you see anything of interest in the reading?”
Jill: “I loathe to say that I didn’t…”
Professor A: “That is well advised!”
Why you should give notice to the home sellers, even if they have a lock box:
Professor E: “My husband was in his underwear, heard some noises downstairs, and snuck stealthily down the stairs with a baseball bat…and almost beat the buyers!”
I have Professor L again for Constitutional Law. I love the class, but even if I didn’t, the asides would make it totally worth it.
Professor L vs. the 14th amendment:
Professor L: “Let me quote directly here from the amendment… hm…where is it? Sorry… I momentarily forgot how to read roman numerals…”
Professor L hears a voice:
Professor L (looking down at the seating chart): “Mr. Smith?”
Jack Smith: “Here!”
Professor L (looking up): “Where are you? I just heard a voice…hearing voices! That’s all I need!”
Professor L trips:
Professor L: “Woops! Sorry. There’s a little wire here. I’ll probably fall on my face at some point…”
Professor L says stay healthy:
Professor L: “I was asked to record today’s class because a number of your colleagues are sick today with the swine flu or something. I suspect this is only going to get worse, so wash your hands regularly, carry Purell, refuse to shake hands with people, and stay healthy!”
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Professor L see:
I picked my classes based on subject matter without regard to timing… so it was about 2pm Monday afternoon when I realized that I had four classes scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday.
I was also really sick last weekend, so I began school drugged-out on cold medicine so I wouldn’t be “disgusting snot guy.” Instead of being disgusting snot guy I just walked around looking mildly dazed, disoriented, and stuffy…so I guess I blended in with the 1Ls? Maybe not…
And while I suspected that this week would be a disaster, it wasn’t. Here’s a play-by-play of the classes and professors:
Tax: I like that UMN has managed to assemble a mix of scholars and practitioners. My tax professor is a partner at one of the biggest firms in the city. He made it very clear (among other things) that he wasn’t an academic.This should be interesting…
My mother still claims me on her taxes, so I felt like one of the few people in the room who has never looked at a 1040 form. I just need to spend some more time with it and figure how all those below-the-line deductions work.
My professor began each class with a raffle. During the first class he raffled off textbooks, and during the second class he raffled off basketball tickets. I’m not sure what that’s about…
Modern Real Estate: This class is hilarious. My professor used to practice real estate law, and looks like she stepped right out of a Talbots ad. Professor E. can compete with any flashy real estate broker in the fashion department. We are always excited to see what each day’s ensemble will be.
Conflicts: Conflicts is with Professor V, who was my Civil Procedure professor. Professor V is super-organized and uses slides filled with flow charts and tables that simplify what seem like hopelessly complex concepts. The only problem I have with Conflicts is that it still feels crazy that a court can apply different sets of laws to different issues within one case. Professor V claims that this is an “opportunity for advocacy” but I suspect that is only true after we get over the mountain-sized learning curve.
Conlaw II: I have Professor L again, who taught Conlaw during my 1L year. And the hilarity continues:
Professor L (looking down at the podium): “Mrs. Smith?”
Cindy Smith: “Here!”
Professor L (looking up): “Where? I just hear a voice. Hah. Hearing voices…that’s all I need…”
Professor L: “Let me read from the 14th amendment real quick. Hm. Wait, I momentarily forgot how to read roman numerals.”
Professor L (tripping over a wire): “Sorry. There’s a little wire here. I’ll probably fall on my face at some point…”
My Employment Law professor began each class by blasting music. It’s a little strange, but I think he’s trying to be “fun.” At least the class isn’t super-early…
On Tuesday I was one of the first people at the school cafeteria. The coffee wasn’t ready yet so the Barista asked me if he could give me an Americano instead.
I agreed, although I didn’t know what an Americano was at the time.
I got hooked.
Americanos are basically the same price as coffee, but have that bitter-taste that I love. I didn’t realize until I was up to three Americanos per day that each drink contains four shots of espresso… 12 shots of espresso per day… no wonder I was so bubbly my first week!
I read a lot of animal hoarding and cases at work, but last Sunday I came across a case that was so horrifying that I almost went home.
The case involved the typical hoarding situation: a house stuffed like Noah’s Arc and caked with feces. The description of the house so gruesome however, that I just wanted to speed home, shower, and bleach my entire apartment.
My standards for cleanliness have definitely changed over the past few years. I have a lot of plants, a pet frog, and Harley.
Crumbs, dog hair, and dead leaves are now a fact of life. I clean on a biweekly basis but there is no way to teach the dog to stop shedding, or keep the apartment perfectly sterile.
Only three people have seen my apartment, and they would probably agree that it is relatively clean. But when I read the case last Sunday my kitchen trash was full, the dishes piled, and the laundry unfolded. I was so absolutely disgusted that I devoted all of yesterday to cleaning. The case is after the jump.
Jack is the only other intern at work today, so of course I have to trip right by his cubicle. My cases become airborn and crash everywhere.
I’m scrambling to pick up the cases when Jack spins around in his chair with a huge Cheshire Cat grin:
Jack: “You do that a lot don’t you?”
Ugh.
Dr. Smooth just graduated from vet school. He’s young. He’s hip. He has a soul patch.
Dr. Timid is middle aged, quiet and serious. She always looks worried, like she is about to tell you something went horribly wrong and your dog will, in fact, never regain control of his bowels. Have fun with the slip and slide!
So of course Dr. Timid was working today.
The vice president of the University of Minnesota just sent out an email:
Yesterday, the University of Minnesota Police Department issued a Public Safety Alert regarding a shooting that occurred just off campus. This Public Safety Alert was the fourth issued in just over a week, and it’s unfortunate that this spate of crimes has occurred as students are returning to campus and the University community is preparing for the 2009-10 academic year.
The alerts are sent out because the University of Minnesota is committed to the safety of our students, faculty, and staff, and in compliance with the federal Clery Act.
Alerts are not intended to alarm or frighten anyone.
Really? Let’s see, here are some gems from the University of Minnesota’s public safety department:
Amber, a coworker who goes to another local law school, is going to invest in a talking stick:
Amber: “I’m bringing a talking stick to my seminar. There are two boys in it who think out loud, and just ramble on! Last class I’m sitting there wondering, ‘Do I really have to listen to this?!’ and one of the boys said, ‘Wait, I just need to finish this thought!’ and I wanted to scream ‘OH NO YOU DON’T! YOU HAVE NO COHERENT THOUGHTS! SHUT UP!”
And apparently Dolly Parton is still alive and well:
Amber: “Oh, and that Dolly Parton girl! The twins have been out EVERY SINGLE DAY since school started! And they are just tan and jiggly. I wonder how she gets them so tan…oh, and every time she breathes they quiver like Jello. It’s SO distracting!”
The now-1Ls are fully oriented. I hope.
The past few days consisted of constant information sessions, Q&As, herding, “mingling” and moving furniture for 220 people.
Oh, and plenty of free food and coffee.
I am tired and amused, which isn’t a terrible way to start 2L year. Now excuse me while run off to the office…
The rising number of google search hits I am getting for variations of “Dennis University of Minnesota law student” is probably a good indication that more UMN 1Ls are discovering the website.
Hi.
A few quick things:
And if you feel inspired to start your own blog, read over this list first so you won’t get in trouble.
Welcome, and go Mondale High!
I’m reliving orientation as an orientation assistant. The law school is really responsive to student feedback, so a lot of the boring and useless things from last year’s orientation were axed. Some of the 1Ls were still bored, but they have no idea how much better their orientation is.
Besides an awkward, overlong vegetable analogy, orientation has gone well. None of the speakers said anything crazy and none of the 1Ls irreparably embarrassed themselves. I think asking for anything more is unrealistic.
We even did a quick etiquette session in my orientation group where the other orientation leaders and I told the 1Ls how not to be obnoxious.
I figure if my 1Ls can avoid doing those five things, they’ll be fine.
I thought about writing a grand “1L summer retrospective” post, but that would be duplicative of my “one year in Minnesota” post and way too exhausting to do right now, so, quickly, the highlights of summer:
The summer was hilarious, but I’m ready to start the school year.
My bedroom window was stuck open for most of the summer.
I was too lazy to call the maintenance people, but this wasn’t a big deal because my apartment is not air conditioned and my windows are open most of the time.
I only had the urge to close my window in the middle of the night when there was thunder or police drama outside. These midnight fix-it attempts always failed because there is only so much wrestling I can do with the window before I remember that I’m exposing my underbritches to the entire neighborhood.1
So, I would give up, and forget about the window problem.
The low point was a few days ago when there was a huge storm that blew directly into my window.
I got frustrated today and decided to stop moving furniture.
I figured if I couldn’t come up with a better layout for my apartment during the summer, then it’s not going to happen during the semester.
We all know that guy or girl. Over at The Shark I have a post addressing annoying social networkers. I included 5 easy ways to avoid joining the irritating crowd. The post is here.
I am halfway through a habeas case at work when Jill, a coworker, turns to me and says:
Jill: “Tornadoes in downtown Minneapolis!”
Me: “What what?”
Jill: “That’s what they are saying on NPR. Check online.”
We are posted in my favorite room, the video bar, which is like a gay sports bar that plays music videos instead of football.
The Ting Tings are playing when the bar tender plops these small red drinks in front of us.
I shoot the bartender a look like “What the heck?” and he says,
Bartender: “These are from the guy across the bar.”
I sleep with my window open.
I want to say this has something to do with “enjoying the Minnesota summer” but the truth is that my bedroom window has been stuck open for a few months and I’m too lazy to call the maintenance people.
Last night I regretted not getting that stupid window fixed because around 2am someone started shooting.
