I walked the dogs in Loring Park almost every day last week, when it wasn’t raining that is…
dogs / HTC EVO 4G pictures / Life / Minneapolis-St. Paul / pictures / Summer 2011 / Whittier / Uptown Minneapolis
I walked the dogs in Loring Park almost every day last week, when it wasn’t raining that is…
I’m totally there.
Of course I went out and celebrated during graduation weekend, but I procrastinated the grand “end of law school” post because I did not have many positive things to say about the experience. Heck, even thinking of law school annoys me. I’m a grumpy old man and law school needs to get the hell off of my front porch.
But the past three years weren’t horrible. I was excited to move to Minneapolis, had many hilarious teachers and classmates, dated several amazing guys (and a few flops), moved into my first apartment, got two crazy-ass dogs, had a near-death experience or two, and got a full-time gig at the company that hired me as an intern during my first year of school.
Sure, there were times that I felt that law school was an epic waste of time and money and times that the whole city lost its mind. There were also times that I wanted to kill both dogs and flee the police raids in my apartment building. But everything ended well (and I can always off the dogs later.)
I leave law school with a gunnertastic work ethic and sense of professionalism that makes me competitive in the workplace. I also learned what people to surround myself with and – perhaps more importantly – who to avoid.
So now that I am on the verge of 25, the law school chapter of my life is over and I am starting my career while living the yuppie-hipster (yipster?) life in Uptown. This should be amusing…
The mud finally dried, so it was time to hit Lake Calhoun with the dogs.
It was overcast, but a perfect 65 degrees and gorgeous.
Today was perfectly dull, and yet just right. Work, dog walk, Top Model, bed.
And Loring Park was so gorgeous today.
Today’s weather is why people love Minneapolis.
It’s spring, the hipsters are out, and the weather is at a sunny 65-degrees. Bliss.
The day starts with a dog walk around Uptown. Keeping them from demolishing people’s flower beds is harder than it looks.
I throw the dogs back into the apartment and join Mike at the Stella’s Fish Cafe rooftop. The view is amazing, but it is so windy that occasional screams are heard as the plastic water cups launch onto unsuspecting laps.
Oh, and I think they are hiring spell checkers…
Our poor waitress is so overwhelmed. She is the only server for the upper level rooftop and she has about a dozen tables at one point. Things get so desperate that the bus-girl starts taking orders and filling waters. The waitress looks like she was about to cry, but we are in no rush because Stella’s has $5 mojitos when you check in on foursquare. Freaking-yeah.
After a detour to South Minneapolis, the party continues with Kristin and entourage at Tryg’s, near Lake Calhoun. We sit by the fire pit:
This is a cool idea in theory, but a fire pit is not so cool when you are down-wind. We smelled like smoked fish by the time we left. It was so bad that I run to the gas station and buy a $10 can of axe to freshen up.
Tryg’s was good for some excellent people watching though:
Yes that’s a red tie and a page-boy cut. You should have seen the socks. Not pictured is the wine-clutching grandpa and the mulleted biker.
We then go back to Stellas to join a bloated group of someone else’s friends. There weren’t enough seats at Stella’s so we ditched the girls and ended the night around the corner with sushi at Fushion.
I also manage to set up a date for tomorrow while at Fushion. Not a bad way to end my graduation weekend.
The real world starts tomorrow.
You know I tried to declare spring waaay too early.
The temperature rose 50. It was spring! Then we got a blizzard.
Then we had another week of warmth. It got to 60 degrees. It was spring! …and then it snowed on May-freaking-first.
Well yesterday we got to 80 degrees. So it better be freaking spring.
And if there was any doubt, the streets are full of road construction (aka pot hole repair). We also got full-on tornado sirens and golf-ball-sized hail last night.
Mibs and I were thrilled that our cars didn’t get dinged and that the tornadoes stayed away from downtown Minneapolis for once. Hi Spring. Don’t be too destructive.
Matt messaged me about the Osama Bin Laden news right just as I got ready for bed. I was glued to tweetdeck for the next hour and watched Obama’s address to the country.
BBC News just reported that crowds are gathering in front of the White House to celebrate. The correspondent said it’s a block party. I’m not mourning the man, but I think it’s distasteful to celebrate the death of any person. Yes, even Osama.
Besides following world events, I spent my time trying to stay warm in this mug. The week’s weather was straight out of a rainy British murder mystery and today we event got a snowflake or two.
The radio just said that it’s below freezing and we might get snow flurries tomorrow. I guess this is what May is like in Minnesota?
I actually don’t mind the delayed spring. It allows me to appreciate everything (esp. architecture) one last time before the trees and shrubs mask the world.
I don’t even know what to think anymore. It’s May-freaking-first and I had the pleasure of watching tiny snowflakes flip me the bird all day.
And then it hailed.
The “feels like” temperature is 32 degrees and things look rather muddy outside.
I am getting ready for Jetset (doing some poses in the mirror to music, really) when I notice a hooded figure walking by my window.
The figure walks by a second time, and then a third time. I assume this fool is casing my garden-level apartment, so I grab the dogs and sashay outside. I walk around the side of the building but no one is there.
I live on the edge of downtown Minneapolis, where there is a two-story Target approximately a quarter mile from my apartment.
And yet I always end up in the suburbs.
Minneapolis is consistently ranked as one of the gayest cities in the U.S. and yet I am perpetually single.
These types of guys are why:
This guy is over-enthusiastic to the brink of stalkerdom, “Hi! Nice to meet you. I love your eyes! We should totally get married. What’s your name again?”
He fills up your Facebook inbox but acts completely bored when you hang out.
Am I talking to your assistant online?
He’s in love, as long as you are in front of him.
This guy is completely enamored in-person but takes a week to respond to a Facebook or text message.
He might need to borrow the E-Baller’s secretary.
Your jealous boyfriend…who isn’t your boyfriend.
This is the guy who claims he wants friendship but what he really wants is Ken – the boyfriend without the sex.
The faux-friend wants to take you to the movies, the gym and the bar.
He might even text you and call to ask how your day was. But beware, the second you look at another guy, sirens turn on and he rings the alarm.
The faux-friend will not actually date you, but he is perfectly happy to cause unnecessary drama as he glares down his perceived competition at the bar like a hyena in heat.
Avoid at all costs.
The Poltergeist is similar to the Fair-Weather, but way more irritating.
This is the guy who disappears after an amazing date and then reincarnates as a ghost rapping at your online-door.
The poltergeist will “like” a Facebook update, or shoot a text once every few weeks along the lines of “Hey we should hang out!” only to disappear again… these guys are like reoccurring outbreaks of H1N1, and it’s time to be vaccinated.
Toast is the perfectly nice but utterly boring guy who always forces you to exchange pleasantries online. You have a brief conversation about your day (or the weather) that fizzles quickly. But don’t worry, you’ll have the same exact conversation a few days later.
Toast is way too shy to ask you out , and way too boring to be asked out…so you are stuck repeating these pointless conversations because there’s no polite way to say “Yo Toast, I don’t give a shit how you are doing today.”
This guy is like catching poison ivy. He will stalk you and message you on every dating site and app.
The Rash won’t go away until you go to Walgreen’s and buy some anti-itch creme.
Ignoring him is best tactic. Responding will only encourage him to make a fake profile just to keep bothering you. (Yes, this happens.)
And don’t worry about running into the Rash at the bar. Like the E-Baller, these guys have social anxiety problems and scurry like roaches when you glare at them in a social setting.
This is the sluttacious guy who is just waiting to share his love bumps. “Hi, how are you? My name is John. Want to be the guest star of my septic tank of desire?”
Um, no.
And don’t for the Vamp no matter how drunk and lonely you are.
This is the type of guy who sleeps his way through entire groups of friends and makes things awkward for everyone in the future.
He’s cute! You chatted him up on a dating site or at a bar, became Facebook friends, and promptly stopped talking to each other.
So of course you run into him all the time now.
He is at the grocery store, club, and the lake. You smile politely, wave, and continue ignoring each other.
And the weird thing about The Extra is that you would probably get along with him enough to become real-friends, and yet nothing ever happens.
It’s the almost-missed connection that keeps repeating itself.
As you can see, this is a very busy circus. Tickets available at Ticketmaster or at your local Pump’N’Munch gas station.
It’s mid-April, so this is not okay.
And then four hours later, all of the snow is gone and flowers are visible.
What the hell, Minneapolis?
This week? Well.
I spent a lot of time in the car. Driving to work, school, and the burbs for Wal-Mart.
We had happy hour at the Minneapolis Eagle and then went to an authentic Chinese buffet on Lake Street.
It was authentic because of the English fail on the sign.
Minneapolis has a week of 50-degree temperatures, I run around in my funny shoes declaring that spring is here…and we get a snowstorm.
I get up at 6 a.m. to shovel the apartment building’s sidewalks but I run out of salt because I (foolishly) thought that we were done with winter.
