It’s a full circle moment. Remember how aggravating the housing search was when I first moved to Minnesota? Well, the post-law school housing search with dogs was even worse, and everyone’s over it.
It’s a full circle moment. Remember how aggravating the housing search was when I first moved to Minnesota? Well, the post-law school housing search with dogs was even worse, and everyone’s over it.
This weekend’s apartment hunt turned ugly today when dozens of building managers and real estate agents called us back. The theme? The Rottweiler is a deal breaker.
MIA the past few weeks? Me? What?
The last two weeks were normal on one level. I was busy living the Minneapolis yuppie life: work, long dog walks at the lakes, clubs, drag shows, cooking disasters, restaurants, cafes, museums, crazy hobos…
Last summer an acquaintance asked me whether I was happy with how life has treated me so far. I can’t remember the exact way that he phrased the question, but I remember being intensely bothered with the underlying implication that life is something that happens to us and that we have little control over our current situation.
It’s absolutely not true. “I’m not a dog,” I thought. “I am an active participant in my life.”
So it is officially hotter in Minneapolis than it is in Miami. Summer is here, the neighborhood looks lush, and my freshness is compromised.
I had the post written, and then wordpress logged me out. So pictures will have to do.
I’m totally there.
Of course I went out and celebrated during graduation weekend, but I procrastinated the grand “end of law school” post because I did not have many positive things to say about the experience. Heck, even thinking of law school annoys me. I’m a grumpy old man and law school needs to get the hell off of my front porch.
But the past three years weren’t horrible. I was excited to move to Minneapolis, had many hilarious teachers and classmates, dated several amazing guys (and a few flops), moved into my first apartment, got two crazy-ass dogs, had a near-death experience or two, and got a full-time gig at the company that hired me as an intern during my first year of school.
Sure, there were times that I felt that law school was an epic waste of time and money and times that the whole city lost its mind. There were also times that I wanted to kill both dogs and flee the police raids in my apartment building. But everything ended well (and I can always off the dogs later.)
I leave law school with a gunnertastic work ethic and sense of professionalism that makes me competitive in the workplace. I also learned what people to surround myself with and – perhaps more importantly – who to avoid.
So now that I am on the verge of 25, the law school chapter of my life is over and I am starting my career while living the yuppie-hipster (yipster?) life in Uptown. This should be amusing…
Today’s weather is why people love Minneapolis.
It’s spring, the hipsters are out, and the weather is at a sunny 65-degrees. Bliss.
The day starts with a dog walk around Uptown. Keeping them from demolishing people’s flower beds is harder than it looks.
I throw the dogs back into the apartment and join Mike at the Stella’s Fish Cafe rooftop. The view is amazing, but it is so windy that occasional screams are heard as the plastic water cups launch onto unsuspecting laps.
Oh, and I think they are hiring spell checkers…
Our poor waitress is so overwhelmed. She is the only server for the upper level rooftop and she has about a dozen tables at one point. Things get so desperate that the bus-girl starts taking orders and filling waters. The waitress looks like she was about to cry, but we are in no rush because Stella’s has $5 mojitos when you check in on foursquare. Freaking-yeah.
After a detour to South Minneapolis, the party continues with Kristin and entourage at Tryg’s, near Lake Calhoun. We sit by the fire pit:
This is a cool idea in theory, but a fire pit is not so cool when you are down-wind. We smelled like smoked fish by the time we left. It was so bad that I run to the gas station and buy a $10 can of axe to freshen up.
Tryg’s was good for some excellent people watching though:
Yes that’s a red tie and a page-boy cut. You should have seen the socks. Not pictured is the wine-clutching grandpa and the mulleted biker.
We then go back to Stellas to join a bloated group of someone else’s friends. There weren’t enough seats at Stella’s so we ditched the girls and ended the night around the corner with sushi at Fushion.
I also manage to set up a date for tomorrow while at Fushion. Not a bad way to end my graduation weekend.
The real world starts tomorrow.
The day started with me bumming around downtown Minneapolis. It was rainy, but I wore red suede shoes anyway.
After participating in a Target fire drill, I eventually end up in Uptown where I sat at the Spyhouse until the internet gave out. I think they prevent lingerers by periodically killing the internet for certain users.
There was a pizza/reality-TV detour, but I eventually mopped the tomato sauce off my face and went to the Eagle and met Mike and Jack there. The Eagle was pretty low-key so we eventually end up at Jetset.
Of course Casey and entourage are outside of Jetset, raising hell. Mike and I did the screaming “Hayyy girl!” greeting and then got our shimmy on with a 8-foot-drag queen and her denim-dress-wearing friend. What a perfectly random night.
The graduation weekend started at the Eagle with Darmor. Kristin and I continue the hilarity at Lush, where they are out of mint yet again.
Mojito-less, we have to resort to a mystery purple drink that tastes just like grape freezy-pops. And no, that is not as tasty as it sounds.
There’s a costume change and the mojito party picks up at Jetset. Richard and Robert are there, as well as Casey and his entourage. The mojitos at Jetset are good but the music is a bit dull, so we begrudgingly decide to go to Krave.
Krave is a seasonal party at Karma nightclub in downtown Minneapolis. I avoided Krave at Karma in the past because it felt like a hassle and a risk. Am I going to hunt down parking, spend $10 on cover and be disappointed when other bars are free? Plus these special-event parties tend to be on bad homework weekends… Excuses, right?
Well, I got over myself and went. And lawd,
It was like a miniature version of South Beach’s Score nightclub. The theme was Jersey Shore so you know Kristin rocked the Snooki bump.
There are also a few JWowws skipping around and a lot of fist pumping. I love it! The DJ sticks to 5-year-old dance hits and the occasional top-40 remix (Enrique). We are all thoroughly underwhelmed but make the best of it by having a mini-runway competition on the upper floors of the club. Verk!
What a hilarious start to the graduation weekend. More hilarity to come.
I might have been on four hours of sleep and chugging coffee, but I finished my coursework for the semester.
Law school is DONE. Hallelu!
I leave the tax law clinic and walk the dogs. The dogs and I into Mel on the walk. She is high again and has trouble with her apartment building door. She grunts and kicks the door before seeing me.
Mel: “You didn’t see that.”
Me: “Of course not.”
Mel : “I tripped. Stubbed my toe.”
Me: “I’m sure.”
Mel: “Can I pet your dogs?”
Me: “Uh sure.”
Mel : “They don’t bite do they? Cus if they do then I’m gonna sue you!”
Me: “Heh. Then no. Bad idea. Bye.”
Mel: “WHAT? Then why the FUCK do you have them around people? If they gon’ bite?!”
Me (walking off): “I didn’t say that they bite. But let’s not take any chances.”
Mel : “Fuck you! You have some nerve you know that?”
I keep walking down the street and she follows.
Mel: “LOOK AT ME! I’m sorry. Fuck.”
Me: “That’s okay. We’ll be on our way, mam.”
Mel keeps cursing at me. I then receive a phone call from prospective tenants who want to see an open apartment. I meet them at the building and realize that I don’t have my keys.
We walk around to the back of the building and I see that someone tried to break into the building lockbox last night. It was is so badly damaged that it will not open.
I am horrified. I am standing in front of the building, holding two peeing dogs in front of two prospective tenants that think I’m a moron.
I eventually get a neighbor to let me into the building and we walk upstairs to the apartment.
The apartment is vacant but contractors are still doing repairs. The contractors that work for my landlord are notoriously messy, so I had the pleasure of trying to explain why there is a smashed light bulb in the middle of the apartment’s dining room.
I am embarrassed, but slightly too exhausted to care.
My keys were in the laundry room door. Sigh. I need to go to bed.
My first post-law school night consisted of laundry, taco bell, and Celebrity Apprentice. This is the life.
You know I tried to declare spring waaay too early.
The temperature rose 50. It was spring! Then we got a blizzard.
Then we had another week of warmth. It got to 60 degrees. It was spring! …and then it snowed on May-freaking-first.
Well yesterday we got to 80 degrees. So it better be freaking spring.
And if there was any doubt, the streets are full of road construction (aka pot hole repair). We also got full-on tornado sirens and golf-ball-sized hail last night.
Mibs and I were thrilled that our cars didn’t get dinged and that the tornadoes stayed away from downtown Minneapolis for once. Hi Spring. Don’t be too destructive.
Memba the snow mess from what, two weeks ago? Well we got over that. The weather is gorgeous, but I am inside of a café writing this paper.
Finishing the paper for my Weimar Cinema class is difficult because I already have a fabulous full-time job and elective credits don’t affect my law school GPA – so this class is essentially pass/fail and I can do a mediocre job and still graduate.
The problem is that I don’t want to end my law school career poorly or turn in anything offensively bad. Nothing is worse than reading a paper that someone obviously didn’t put any effort into.
So here I sit. At least I only have a few hours left.
Yesterday morning I woke up around 6 a.m. and felt like the plague hit. So I emailed my boss and rolled back into bed. I finally dragged myself to my finals situation room (aka Starbucks) by 11 a.m. and worked on my Weimar Cinema essay until my 5:30 p.m. class.
The paper is supposed to be 15 page. I got 11 done, so good progress I suppose.
And then I had my last formal class of law school…
…which really isn’t a law school class.
But I am not done. The tax clinic expects me to work until next Friday, which is frustrating because my facebook stream is full of all of my friends declaring that finals are done and summer is here. And yet here I sit on hold for another week.
Law school feels like Avatar: creepy blue people and an ending that just won’t come soon enough.
Matt messaged me about the Osama Bin Laden news right just as I got ready for bed. I was glued to tweetdeck for the next hour and watched Obama’s address to the country.
BBC News just reported that crowds are gathering in front of the White House to celebrate. The correspondent said it’s a block party. I’m not mourning the man, but I think it’s distasteful to celebrate the death of any person. Yes, even Osama.
Besides following world events, I spent my time trying to stay warm in this mug. The week’s weather was straight out of a rainy British murder mystery and today we event got a snowflake or two.
The radio just said that it’s below freezing and we might get snow flurries tomorrow. I guess this is what May is like in Minnesota?
I actually don’t mind the delayed spring. It allows me to appreciate everything (esp. architecture) one last time before the trees and shrubs mask the world.
Hallelu.
Everything has thawed and I am at the lakes so much that I canceled my gym membership. This was a long time coming.
This week? Work, snow, some epically bad dates, dog walks, drag shows and a lot of dancing:
Halvers and I went to the townhouse for classafrass earlier in the week:
And the snow quickly gave way to real spring temperatures. The lake was packed today.
Gateway no longer supports my FX laptop (or even acknowledges that the model exists). I can’t find any new drivers for it and it’s slowly dying. So I went to Mall of America on Saturday to hunt for a new computer. The mall usually has some random event on the weekends, and this week it was all about fancy cars:
Big Box had mostly low-end laptops ($300-$400) and the uber expensive Macs. The 17-inch Mac started at $2,500 – which wasn’t happening.
I then went to the Apple store to see if they had anything better but I was immediately turned off by the lack of customer service. The greeter was preoccupied with his watch and no one came to help me in the five minutes I was in the store. I quickly balked at the prices and fled across the hallway to the Microsoft store.
The salespeople at the Microsoft store were super patient with my 3o-minutes worth of questions. I eventually bought a HP Envy Beats edition, which is 17-inch beast with 3D capabilities and a professional sound card. It’s fancy, and I named it Herman.
My laptop only got used for homework this weekend because Ableton has to manually approve my license for the new laptop. It’s a German company, so you know they aren’t open for Easter.
Being productive isn’t the worst way to spend a Sunday. Maybe this can be a regular thing.
Minneapolis is consistently ranked as one of the gayest cities in the U.S. and yet I am perpetually single.
These types of guys are why:
This guy is over-enthusiastic to the brink of stalkerdom, “Hi! Nice to meet you. I love your eyes! We should totally get married. What’s your name again?”
He fills up your Facebook inbox but acts completely bored when you hang out.
Am I talking to your assistant online?
He’s in love, as long as you are in front of him.
This guy is completely enamored in-person but takes a week to respond to a Facebook or text message.
He might need to borrow the E-Baller’s secretary.
Your jealous boyfriend…who isn’t your boyfriend.
This is the guy who claims he wants friendship but what he really wants is Ken – the boyfriend without the sex.
The faux-friend wants to take you to the movies, the gym and the bar.
He might even text you and call to ask how your day was. But beware, the second you look at another guy, sirens turn on and he rings the alarm.
The faux-friend will not actually date you, but he is perfectly happy to cause unnecessary drama as he glares down his perceived competition at the bar like a hyena in heat.
Avoid at all costs.
The Poltergeist is similar to the Fair-Weather, but way more irritating.
This is the guy who disappears after an amazing date and then reincarnates as a ghost rapping at your online-door.
The poltergeist will “like” a Facebook update, or shoot a text once every few weeks along the lines of “Hey we should hang out!” only to disappear again… these guys are like reoccurring outbreaks of H1N1, and it’s time to be vaccinated.
Toast is the perfectly nice but utterly boring guy who always forces you to exchange pleasantries online. You have a brief conversation about your day (or the weather) that fizzles quickly. But don’t worry, you’ll have the same exact conversation a few days later.
Toast is way too shy to ask you out , and way too boring to be asked out…so you are stuck repeating these pointless conversations because there’s no polite way to say “Yo Toast, I don’t give a shit how you are doing today.”
This guy is like catching poison ivy. He will stalk you and message you on every dating site and app.
The Rash won’t go away until you go to Walgreen’s and buy some anti-itch creme.
Ignoring him is best tactic. Responding will only encourage him to make a fake profile just to keep bothering you. (Yes, this happens.)
And don’t worry about running into the Rash at the bar. Like the E-Baller, these guys have social anxiety problems and scurry like roaches when you glare at them in a social setting.
This is the sluttacious guy who is just waiting to share his love bumps. “Hi, how are you? My name is John. Want to be the guest star of my septic tank of desire?”
Um, no.
And don’t for the Vamp no matter how drunk and lonely you are.
This is the type of guy who sleeps his way through entire groups of friends and makes things awkward for everyone in the future.
He’s cute! You chatted him up on a dating site or at a bar, became Facebook friends, and promptly stopped talking to each other.
So of course you run into him all the time now.
He is at the grocery store, club, and the lake. You smile politely, wave, and continue ignoring each other.
And the weird thing about The Extra is that you would probably get along with him enough to become real-friends, and yet nothing ever happens.
It’s the almost-missed connection that keeps repeating itself.
As you can see, this is a very busy circus. Tickets available at Ticketmaster or at your local Pump’N’Munch gas station.
