I am disgusted and my freshness is compromised. It is 91 degrees in Minneapolis right now. That’s 3 degrees warmer than the current temperature in Miami.
Not only is it unflatteringly hot, but it is also overcast.
I am disgusted and my freshness is compromised. It is 91 degrees in Minneapolis right now. That’s 3 degrees warmer than the current temperature in Miami.
Not only is it unflatteringly hot, but it is also overcast.
The Rottweiler has lost it.
She chewed through the metal kennel door and broke the padlocks that kept the door in place. There were jagged bars hanging from the door when I got home.
We remember the hot mess that happened the last time that she broke her kennel, so I couldn’t just hope that this was a one-time deal. After an appropriate amount of raging about the apartment, I threw the dogs in the car and went to Petsmart to buy a new steel-enforced KONG kennel. Harley was smushed with it in the backseat.
I can’t leave Harley alone for a second or he breaks into the cashews. Today he shredded the tupperware and ate about a half-pound of cashews.
I had the post written, and then wordpress logged me out. So pictures will have to do.
I walked the dogs in Loring Park almost every day last week, when it wasn’t raining that is…
I’m totally there.
Of course I went out and celebrated during graduation weekend, but I procrastinated the grand “end of law school” post because I did not have many positive things to say about the experience. Heck, even thinking of law school annoys me. I’m a grumpy old man and law school needs to get the hell off of my front porch.
But the past three years weren’t horrible. I was excited to move to Minneapolis, had many hilarious teachers and classmates, dated several amazing guys (and a few flops), moved into my first apartment, got two crazy-ass dogs, had a near-death experience or two, and got a full-time gig at the company that hired me as an intern during my first year of school.
Sure, there were times that I felt that law school was an epic waste of time and money and times that the whole city lost its mind. There were also times that I wanted to kill both dogs and flee the police raids in my apartment building. But everything ended well (and I can always off the dogs later.)
I leave law school with a gunnertastic work ethic and sense of professionalism that makes me competitive in the workplace. I also learned what people to surround myself with and – perhaps more importantly – who to avoid.
So now that I am on the verge of 25, the law school chapter of my life is over and I am starting my career while living the yuppie-hipster (yipster?) life in Uptown. This should be amusing…
I knew something was wrong when I opened my apartment door and the Rottweiler shoved past me and started creeping down the hall.
The mud finally dried, so it was time to hit Lake Calhoun with the dogs.
It was overcast, but a perfect 65 degrees and gorgeous.
Today was perfectly dull, and yet just right. Work, dog walk, Top Model, bed.
And Loring Park was so gorgeous today.
Today’s weather is why people love Minneapolis.
It’s spring, the hipsters are out, and the weather is at a sunny 65-degrees. Bliss.
The day starts with a dog walk around Uptown. Keeping them from demolishing people’s flower beds is harder than it looks.
I throw the dogs back into the apartment and join Mike at the Stella’s Fish Cafe rooftop. The view is amazing, but it is so windy that occasional screams are heard as the plastic water cups launch onto unsuspecting laps.
Oh, and I think they are hiring spell checkers…
Our poor waitress is so overwhelmed. She is the only server for the upper level rooftop and she has about a dozen tables at one point. Things get so desperate that the bus-girl starts taking orders and filling waters. The waitress looks like she was about to cry, but we are in no rush because Stella’s has $5 mojitos when you check in on foursquare. Freaking-yeah.
After a detour to South Minneapolis, the party continues with Kristin and entourage at Tryg’s, near Lake Calhoun. We sit by the fire pit:
This is a cool idea in theory, but a fire pit is not so cool when you are down-wind. We smelled like smoked fish by the time we left. It was so bad that I run to the gas station and buy a $10 can of axe to freshen up.
Tryg’s was good for some excellent people watching though:
Yes that’s a red tie and a page-boy cut. You should have seen the socks. Not pictured is the wine-clutching grandpa and the mulleted biker.
We then go back to Stellas to join a bloated group of someone else’s friends. There weren’t enough seats at Stella’s so we ditched the girls and ended the night around the corner with sushi at Fushion.
I also manage to set up a date for tomorrow while at Fushion. Not a bad way to end my graduation weekend.
The real world starts tomorrow.
The day started with me bumming around downtown Minneapolis. It was rainy, but I wore red suede shoes anyway.
After participating in a Target fire drill, I eventually end up in Uptown where I sat at the Spyhouse until the internet gave out. I think they prevent lingerers by periodically killing the internet for certain users.
There was a pizza/reality-TV detour, but I eventually mopped the tomato sauce off my face and went to the Eagle and met Mike and Jack there. The Eagle was pretty low-key so we eventually end up at Jetset.
Of course Casey and entourage are outside of Jetset, raising hell. Mike and I did the screaming “Hayyy girl!” greeting and then got our shimmy on with a 8-foot-drag queen and her denim-dress-wearing friend. What a perfectly random night.
The graduation weekend started at the Eagle with Darmor. Kristin and I continue the hilarity at Lush, where they are out of mint yet again.
Mojito-less, we have to resort to a mystery purple drink that tastes just like grape freezy-pops. And no, that is not as tasty as it sounds.
There’s a costume change and the mojito party picks up at Jetset. Richard and Robert are there, as well as Casey and his entourage. The mojitos at Jetset are good but the music is a bit dull, so we begrudgingly decide to go to Krave.
Krave is a seasonal party at Karma nightclub in downtown Minneapolis. I avoided Krave at Karma in the past because it felt like a hassle and a risk. Am I going to hunt down parking, spend $10 on cover and be disappointed when other bars are free? Plus these special-event parties tend to be on bad homework weekends… Excuses, right?
Well, I got over myself and went. And lawd,
It was like a miniature version of South Beach’s Score nightclub. The theme was Jersey Shore so you know Kristin rocked the Snooki bump.
There are also a few JWowws skipping around and a lot of fist pumping. I love it! The DJ sticks to 5-year-old dance hits and the occasional top-40 remix (Enrique). We are all thoroughly underwhelmed but make the best of it by having a mini-runway competition on the upper floors of the club. Verk!
What a hilarious start to the graduation weekend. More hilarity to come.
I might have been on four hours of sleep and chugging coffee, but I finished my coursework for the semester.
Law school is DONE. Hallelu!
I leave the tax law clinic and walk the dogs. The dogs and I into Mel on the walk. She is high again and has trouble with her apartment building door. She grunts and kicks the door before seeing me.
Mel: “You didn’t see that.”
Me: “Of course not.”
Mel : “I tripped. Stubbed my toe.”
Me: “I’m sure.”
Mel: “Can I pet your dogs?”
Me: “Uh sure.”
Mel : “They don’t bite do they? Cus if they do then I’m gonna sue you!”
Me: “Heh. Then no. Bad idea. Bye.”
Mel: “WHAT? Then why the FUCK do you have them around people? If they gon’ bite?!”
Me (walking off): “I didn’t say that they bite. But let’s not take any chances.”
Mel : “Fuck you! You have some nerve you know that?”
I keep walking down the street and she follows.
Mel: “LOOK AT ME! I’m sorry. Fuck.”
Me: “That’s okay. We’ll be on our way, mam.”
Mel keeps cursing at me. I then receive a phone call from prospective tenants who want to see an open apartment. I meet them at the building and realize that I don’t have my keys.
We walk around to the back of the building and I see that someone tried to break into the building lockbox last night. It was is so badly damaged that it will not open.
I am horrified. I am standing in front of the building, holding two peeing dogs in front of two prospective tenants that think I’m a moron.
I eventually get a neighbor to let me into the building and we walk upstairs to the apartment.
The apartment is vacant but contractors are still doing repairs. The contractors that work for my landlord are notoriously messy, so I had the pleasure of trying to explain why there is a smashed light bulb in the middle of the apartment’s dining room.
I am embarrassed, but slightly too exhausted to care.
My keys were in the laundry room door. Sigh. I need to go to bed.
My first post-law school night consisted of laundry, taco bell, and Celebrity Apprentice. This is the life.
